It is permissible for a man to find pleasure in speaking to his wife and looking at her or at her picture in a chat program, so long as he takes precautions so that no one else can see or spy on him.
With regard to masturbation with the hand, the general principle is that it is haraam, except in the case of one who fears that he may fall into zina, in which case it is permitted.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it permissible for a married couple to talk about sex on the telephone and provoke one another until one or both of them reaches climax, without using the hand because it is haraam? This happens because my husband is always travelling and we only see one another every four months.
He replied: There is nothing wrong with it; rather it is permissible.
Question: What if it involves using the hand?
Shaykh: Using the hand is subject to further discussion; it is only permissible if the person fears that he may fall into zina.
Questioner: And without using the hand there is nothing wrong with it?
Shaykh: Yes, without using the hand there is nothing wrong with it; he may imagine himself being intimate with her and there is nothing wrong with that. End quote.
And Allaah knows best.