Thu 24 Jm2 1435 - 24 April 2014
11582

It is hard for her to ask her husband for intimacy

.I am a married woman with a great husband Alhumdulilallah, But I dont think he gives me all my rights. For example right now I am ill and I have a very strange period,I asked him to take me to the doctors and he refused he doesn't think it is nessary even though I have told him that I think I am pragnant and it might harm the baby. He just says its in the hands of Allah (which I agree) But dont we have to take the nessary steps to take care of our selves? A thing to note is I am not allowed out with out him (which I'm glad for) but that means I cant go to the doctor by myself. After 8 days of having a strange period and feeling ill he is finelly taking me By the Mercy of Allah. Also if I approch him for my needs in the bed he gets angry and tells me that woman from back home would never do such a thing (back home being Arabic country)  
I would ask at a Halakah But I fear he might find out about my asking. By the will of Allah you are my only way to find out how to advise him. Please for the Sake of Allah try to help.

  Praise be to Allaah. 

The husband has to pay attention to these matters concerning his wife, but we must always be realistic and put up with the negative aspects and mistakes of one another, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.”  

With regard to the second matter, according to Islam there is nothing wrong with what you mention. Indeed it is the right of each spouse to enjoy intimacy with the other, and both should pay attention to the other’s needs. But in our Arab societies the man usually takes the initiative because the women tend to be shy, and this is something that is praiseworthy. I think that you should try to convince your husband that if customs and traditions have no basis in sharee’ah, there is no need to adhere to them. But if you cannot convince him then in both your interests, each partner should pay attention to the customs of the other.

 Shaykh Muhammad al-Duwaysh
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