I have a problem as regard marriage. I am engaged to my cousin. we are both muslims, but out degree of knowledge about islam is very different. Infact i wear the hijab and try to be a good muslim while on the other hand he tries to be a good muslim but i get the impression that he is not trying hard. He is a very nice and sweet person, but sometimes i am scarred that he would not be up to standard as regard islamic practices.. for example on the weekend he goes clubbing with his friends. I am scarred and confused!! Should i marry him? we decided to get married in 5 years time, so is there time to charge him? He is always accusing me of trying to change him, but i want him to change for the better. What should i do?
We share your fears concerning marriage to this man, and we urge you to agree to marry a man who is religiously committed and of good character if one comes and proposes to you, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be tribulation in the land and great mischief.”
The decision mentioned in the question to get married after five years is strange, but so long as your relative has chosen this lengthy period, you have plenty of time to find someone else who is more suitable, if such a one should come and propose – so long as there is no marriage contract (nikaah) between you and your relative. If no one who is more suitable comes along during this time, it is permissible for you to marry him (your relative), so long as He is a Muslim and he is not doing anything that would put him beyond the pale of Islam. We ask Allaah to give you strength.