Thu 24 Jm2 1435 - 24 April 2014
146463

She is afraid that her marriage may not be successful because she got to know him before marriage

I read on your website in several places something that made me want to ask about love before marriage. I am a woman who is married to a religiously committed young man, and praise be to Allah he prays and fasts and does his duties in the best manner as he is supposed to. Praise be to Allah, I fear Allah a great deal and I have a strong desire to draw closer and closer to Him. But I got to know this person before marriage, although nothing happened in this relationship to be ashamed of, but he is from one city and I am from another city, and he came to get to know me more and more. But I read that if one likes another person before marriage or sits with him, Allah will not bless them in their relationship, and I am very scared. How can I expiate for my sin? Please note that when I sat with him it was in public places.
I hope that you can help me so that Allah will make my marriage to this person successful, because I fear Allah above everything else.

Praise be to Allaah.

What is meant by the love that is forbidden before marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman that includes haraam things such as looking, touching, shaking hands, being alone together, romantic words, the woman softening her voice, and so on. There is no doubt that this is haraam because what it involves is haraam. 

For information on the prohibition on the things mentioned above, see the answer to question no. 103044

Love may occur without a person choosing that and without doing any haraam things, such as if a woman hears of a man who is of good character and starts liking him. She is not to be blamed for this so long as it is not followed by anything haraam. 

If a man wants to propose to a woman, it is permissible for him to look at her and to meet her in the presence of her mahram. 

No matter what the nature of the love and relationship before marriage, if a person committed any wrong action in that case, then he has to seek forgiveness and repent, for Allah forgives sin, accepts repentance and erases bad deeds. 

If we assume that you overstepped the mark with regard to saying something inappropriate or shaking hands and the like, then all you have to do is ask for forgiveness. Allah has blessed you with marriage to a righteous young man, so praise Allah, may He be exalted, and think positively of Him, and hope for the goodness, blessing and success that He may bestow. 

No one can be certain that the one who falls in love before marriage will not be blessed in his marriage. This is a matter of the unseen that no one knows except Allah. The most that can be said is that haraam love may be a cause of the marriage not being blessed, because a person may be deprived of provision because of a sin that he committed, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “…a man may be deprived of provision by a sin that he commits.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (4022) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah

But if a person repents and turns to Allah, there is the hope that he will be successful with Allah’s help, and that his bad deeds will be turned into good deeds. 

So have faith in Allah, may He be exalted, and put your fears aside; seek the forgiveness of Allah from all sins, minor and major, and you will be fine, praise be to Allah. 

And Allah knows best.

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