159398: Her Fiancé Made Her Tell Him About Her Past


I am betrothed to a young Muslim man who loves me very much, and insha Allah we will get married soon. My fiance once insisted too much that I tell him all my past relationships with men...etc. I told him about two relationships with two young men when I was just 18 years old, but I just revealed some forbidden things that happened, not all details because I did repent to Allah from all such forbidden things and decided to start a new life. But my fiance phoned that young man via SMS (I don't know how he got his number) and that old friend told him the whole story. Now my fiancé is willing to fulfill our marriage only because things are already arranged (only five days remain) and all family have been told so he wants to go on just to save his image before his family; afterwards he will divorce me after a while. Should I now tell him all details of my past?

Praise be to Allaah.

With regard to the past from which you have repented to Allah, may He be exalted, the fiancé or husband has no right to ask about it. And it is not prescribed for anyone who has fallen into sin to tell anyone else about it when Allah has concealed him, and he should not expose himself, Allah forbid. 

If the fiancé or husband insists on asking, you do not have to tell him about what you did before you knew him. Hence you made a serious mistake when you told your fiancé some of what you had done. Rather he should only look at you as you are now, and if that suits him he should go ahead and marry you, otherwise he should leave you for someone else. 

Now what has happened has happened, and you do not have the right to tell him any more than you have already told him or what he has found out himself. You can deny anything that others might tell him and that could damage your image and reputation. 

See also the answer to questions no. 112090, 83093 and 91961 

But if he says he is going to divorce you after that, then this matter is in the hand of Allah and intentions may change. “You (the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may be that Allah will afterward bring some new thing to pass” [al-Talaaq 65:1]. So ask Allah to accept your repentance and to conceal your errors. 

And Allah knows best.

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