Mon 21 Jm2 1435 - 21 April 2014
174695

She is hiding her Islam from her idol-worshipping family and they want her to marry a man who follows their religion; what should she do?

I have been friends[-nothing more-]with a classmate of my school, its been 9 years since we completed school and we are still in touch, she's believed in JAINISM, so I gave her DAW'AH, made her realize its wrong to worship Idols, Humans and explained her Islam, Allah,and gave her authentic books, link to your site. She reverted to Islam and is still learning. She being the youngest in family, no one to help her, didn't disclosed to her family that she's now a Muslim, the thing is her family asks to her participate in rituals to worship Idols, fast for their God, she makes some or the other reasons but once read their book on the insisting of her mother, is it a sin, if she does it again n again in front of their parents? Also, her parents are looking for her marriage alliance with some JAIN boy, she's helpless and can't disclose to her parents that she's a Muslim now fearing that they might be strict with her, lock her up and may be get her married as early as possible . can she marry a Jain boy and keep her Imaan in heart, for life, to pray secretly, do read Qur'an secretly for life? She can't even fast in Ramadhan. If her marriage with Jain boy happened. It would be mandatory for her in front of her laws, to pray to idols, fast for their lord etc etc, I'm confused as to what to do now, She fears that in the end, she can't be a true Muslim and Allah will punish her for that. I told her, Allah is forgiving and merciful and would certainly a make a path for her! please help me O Noble shaikh, she'll be married by this year end or may be next year beginning. Also, i'm doing as much as possible to make her learn Islam before that as after her marriage I don't want to continue talking to her, no matter what!

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

We praise Allah, may He be exalted, for having enabled that sister to enter Islam, and we congratulate her for the greatness of this achievement in her life. There is no blessing that can match this with which Allah, may He be exalted, has honoured her: that He has saved her from the worship of idols and made her one of those who affirm the Oneness of the Creator of the universe. We advise her to continually give thanks to Him for this blessing, in her heart and in her words and actions. One of the greatest physical acts of gratitude is prayer, followed by adhering to the other Islamic duties as much as she can.

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to decree for you the reward of her entering Islam and to ransom you from the Fire. Although we commend you and pray for good for you, we also advise you to beware of continuing your relationship with this girl. The fact that you called her to Islam does not mean that it was permissible for you to form a relationship with her, and now that she has entered Islam it is not permissible for you to remain in that relationship. We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to forgive you for what has happened in the past, but we advise you not to continue that relationship. This does not mean abandoning this sister; rather she is a sister (in faith) to all of us and it is her right over us that we should stand with her and support her, but that should not be by means of a direct personal relationship with her on the part of a man who is not her mahram. Hence you have to put her in touch with sisters who are seekers of knowledge and committed to Islam, so that she can form a friendship with them. If one of these sisters is your mahram, that is preferable so that she may act as a link between you and her. You should also realise that the Shaytaan flows in the son of Adam like blood and that he has his evil ways of causing those who call people to Islam and strive for the faith to fall into his traps. See the answer to questions no. 26890 and 82702

Secondly:

This sister is not obliged, in Islam, to do anything more than she is able to of the obligatory acts of obedience, and she should focus most on the prayer, because it is the most important of the practical pillars of Islam. She should pray according to what she is able to do, even if that is by putting Zuhr and ‘Asr, or Maghrib and ‘Isha’, together at the time of either of them. Please see the answer questions no. 153572 and 100726 for information on prayer for one who is in a similar situation.

The sister’s intention should be that all of that is temporary and that there will come a day when – in sha Allah – she will be able to practice her religion openly and perform the Islamic obligatory duties in the manner prescribed, when she is able to do that and Allah has granted a way out from the situation she is in at present.

Thirdly:

If this sister is compelled to sit with her family and read what they call the “holy book”, there is no blame on her – in sha Allah – for joining them, and she will be excused because she has been compelled and forced to do that. But she should try hard to select texts that speak of conduct and interactions with others, and not those that have to do with beliefs and Tawheed.

Fourthly:

With regard to her getting married to an idolater who follows the religion of her family, this is undoubtedly haraam and is a serious matter, and we know that this idea is hateful to her. Hence she should do her utmost to prevent this happening by all possible means, until all options are exhausted. If that happens, then she will have no choice but to tell her family the truth and see what their reaction will be. If they accept that and let her stay in the house, and do not force her to marry that idolater or anyone else, then she may stay with them, practising her religion openly and calling others to it; perhaps Allah, may He be exalted, will guide her family or some of them. But if she fears for her life if she tells them about it, or she thinks that they will treat her harshly in a manner that may cause her to give up her religion, or that they will force her to marry that idolater or someone else, then she should leave her family’s house and go to a trustworthy Islamic centre or to a trustworthy Muslim family, so as to preserve her religious commitment and so that she will meet her Lord believing in Tawheed and Islam. She should realise that many others have gone through that before her; those women chose to leave their families, their countries, their husbands and their children so as to preserve the great blessing of Islam. We hope that Allah, may He be exalted, will grant her a way out and make things easy for her. If she is sincere in her du‘aa’, there is the hope that this will happen sooner rather than later.

See also the answers to questions no. 143540, 129423, 69752, 165167

We ask Allah, may He be exalted, to make her steadfast in her religious commitment and to help her to be patient and seek reward with Him; may He make things easy for her soon and guide her family to Islam.

And Allah knows best.

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