I am a muslim by birth and I recently got married to a girl who had reverted to Islam. i am from india and many muslims here are very backward in their practices etc.. She was continously asking me questions about my relatives and why muslims are so backward etc.. I lost my temper and I am ashamed to say that in my anger I told her that I was sorry that I was a muslim. I immediately realised my mistake but I said what I said. I am terribly ashamed of myself for saying such a thing. Does this make me a apostate (kafir). I am a muslim and i truly believe in islam in all its glory. I am ashamed and sorry for what I said. Am i a kafir. Do i have to say the shahadah again? Is my nikah nullified as she is still a muslim. Do i have to do the nikah again. Please answer at the earliest. I am really sorry for beingsuch a bad muslim.
The Muslims are not backward; rather the one who is backward is the one who worships idols, cows and rats. The one who is backward is the one who does not worship Allah, the One, the Almighty, and worships his own whims and desires, thus turning from a human being whom Allah has honoured to an animal who follows his whims and desires and his evil inclinations.
The history of Islam and the Muslims is a glorious history, filled with great events that stand out in the history of all of mankind. The one who studies the history of the middle ages and the dark ages that non-Muslims lived through will become certain that the origin of these human civilisations, noble principles, refined manners and attitudes, and beneficial sciences, all came from Islam and its people.
What any Muslim who hears anyone attacking Islam or the Muslims in general must do is respond to him and explain to him that the mistakes of some Muslims should not be the basis for passing judgement against the religion of Allah and its followers, who include noble leaders, honourable and righteous people, and courageous commanders and troops.
The people of India in particular have no right to speak of backwardness until they kill the rat that they worship instead of Allah, and they slaughter the cow that they call upon instead of Allah, and they reject their numerous idolatrous religions and begin to worship Allah, the One, the Almighty.
You should not have been embarrassed about belonging to your religion and you should not have felt sorry for being a Muslim; rather you should be proud of it and praise Allah for this blessing that Allah has bestowed upon you and with which He has favoured you, unlike millions of people around you who disbelieve in Him and worship things other than Him.
The one who mocks the religion of Allah, or despises it, or makes fun of its laws, or disavows the Muslims out of resentment towards their religion, has gone beyond the pale of Islam, whether he said that in earnest or in jest, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“If you ask them (about this), they declare: ‘We were only talking idly and joking.’ Say: ‘Was it at Allah, and His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His Messenger (SAW) that you were mocking?’
Make no excuse; you have disbelieved after you had believed. If We pardon some of you, We will punish others amongst you because they were Mujrimoon (disbelievers, polytheists, sinners, criminals, etc.)”
See also the answer to question no. 175838
Your words to your wife, “I am sorry that I am a Muslim” may be interpreted in two ways:
That you said that out of resentment and hatred towards the religion of Allah and rejecting it, in the sense that you wished that you had been born and lived as a non-Muslim. This is apostasy from Islam, so if this is what you meant by what you said, then you became an apostate thereby, so you have to repent sincerely, ask for forgiveness and regret it, and you have to enter the faith anew by reciting the shahaadatayn (twin declaration of faith).
With regard to your wife, if you uttered these words before consummating the marriage with her, then the marriage was annulled with immediate effect. If it was after consummation, if Allah enabled you to repent before the end of the ‘iddah, then she is still your wife and the marriage remains valid. If your repentance and return to Islam came after the end of the ‘iddah, then the marriage was annulled from the time the apostasy occurred.
For more information on the impact of apostasy on marriage before and after consummation, please see the answer to question no. 134339.
That you said that out of resentment towards some of the Muslims you saw around you who were doing objectionable things and committing acts of embarrassing foolishness; they were not people who adhere to the teachings, rulings and etiquette of their religion and they were not striving to live their lives in a way that would benefit them or others, so you wanted to express your resentment towards these people and the embarrassment you felt at belonging to the same group as them, out of resentment towards them and their objectionable deeds, situation and attitude, not out of resentment towards their religion. If this is what you meant, then you did not become a kaafir thereby and your wife did not become irrevocably separated from you. But you have to ask Allah for forgiveness for these words and not say such things again, because it is obviously wrong and because it implies hatred of Muslims and resentment towards them in general, which is unfair and unjust.
Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
Is making fun of the religion by mocking beards and shortening of the thobe regarded as kufr?
That depends; if his intention is to make fun of the religion itself, then it is apostasy, as Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say: ‘Was it at Allah, and His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His Messenger (SAW) that you were mocking?’
Make no excuse; you have disbelieved after you had believed.”
But if he was making fun of a particular individual for other reasons having to do with the beard or shortening of the thobe, meaning that he is strict, making fun of other matters concerning which this person is strict but is careless about other matters even though he knows that they are part of the religion, but it was not his intention to make fun of the religion itself, and he only intended to make fun of that person, then it is not apostasy. End quote.
Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz, 28/365.
We ask Allah to pardon you and forgive you, and to guide you to the straight path.
And Allah knows best.