I am a 35 years old unmarried woman. I was not able to get married as I had birthmarks which hindered the marriage proposals. I am financially stable and want to inquire if I can adopt a girl child. Or if adoption is not permissible as stated on majority of the sites. then I know a man who is in need of money I had already gave him some of it. So, can I talk to him if he can marry me on the contract that he would not take away the child from me but can always can and see the child I want artificial insemination as I want to avoid any kind of sexual desire. and also as soon as I get to know I am pregnant we can divorce each other.
If what you mean by adoption is taking a child from someplace, such as an orphanage for example, in the sense that you will sponsor a good upbringing for him in accordance with Islamic teaching, take care of him, teach him that which will benefit him in both religious and worldly terms, and spend on him, then this is permissible. In fact it is one of the righteous deeds and acts charity that are encouraged by Islam, especially if this child is an orphan. We have discussed the virtue of sponsoring orphans in fatwa no. 188161.
However we should point out that if the child is male and has reached the age of puberty – or even if he is approaching puberty – then you must interact with him as you interact with any other non-mahram. So you should not be alone with him, or appear in front of him with your adornments (i.e., without hijab), and he does not inherit from you after you die, but it is permissible for you to bequeath part of your wealth to him, to a maximum of one third of the estate.
But if what you mean by adoption is taking a child in the sense that the same rulings become applicable to him as to one's own child, and after he reaches puberty you allow him to interact with you like a mahram – if the child is male – and you appear in front of him (without hijab), and he can be alone with you and travel with you, and he inherits from you after you die, then this is definitely haram. Allah has forbidden adoption in the Holy Qur’an, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allah has not put for any man two hearts inside his body. Neither has He made your wives whom you declare to be like your mothers backs, your real mothers. (AzZihar is the saying of a husband to his wife, "You are to me like the back of my mother" i.e. You are unlawful for me to approach.), nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your saying with your mouths. But Allah says the truth, and He guides to the (Right) Way.
Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allah. But if you know not their fathers (names, call them) your brothers in faith and Mawaleekum (your freed slaves). And there is no sin on you if you make a mistake therein, except in regard to what your hearts deliberately intend. And Allah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful”
Hence it is not possible – according to the law of Allah, may He be glorified – for this child to come under the same rulings as one’s real child.
Getting married with the intention of divorce is haraam and is not permissible. Marriage is a solemn covenant which Allah, may He be glorified, calls in His Book a firm and strong covenant, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” [an-Nisa’ 4:21]. It is not permissible to take a covenant of this nature as a focus for tampering or whims and desires. We have previously discussed marriage with the intention of divorce in fatwa no. 111841
Based on that, it becomes clear to you that it is not permissible for you to marry this man with the intention of divorcing him once you have fulfilled your aim of getting pregnant, because this temporary nature of the marriage will either be mentioned in the marriage contract, in which case the marriage contract will be invalid according to scholarly consensus, because it will have become a contract for mut‘ah (temporary marriage), which is haram according to scholarly consensus, as we have explained in fatwa no. 6595; or, you will not clearly state the temporary nature of the marriage in the marriage contract, instead concealing it in your heart. This is also not permissible, because it is deceit. Moreover, if we assume that this marriage takes place, how will you free yourself from this marriage after you have got what you want? You will have no choice but to ask for talaaq or khula‘, both of which are not allowed without a genuine, shar‘i reason, as we have explained in fatwa no. 34579 and 176224.
Stipulating that there should be no intercourse in marriage is not permissible, because that is a condition that is contrary to the purpose of marriage. Hence it is not permissible, it is not valid and it does not have to be fulfilled. In fact some of the scholars regard this condition as invalidating the marriage contract altogether. It says in al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah (7/95): If it is stipulated that he should not have intercourse, that could render the contract invalid, because it is a condition that is contrary to the purpose of marriage. This is the view of ash-Shafaa‘i. End quote.
In Mughni al-Muhtaaj (4/377) it says: If a condition is contrary to the basic purpose of marriage, such as a condition that the husband will never have intercourse with her at all, … or that he will divorce her even after having intercourse, the marriage contract becomes invalid, because that is contrary to the purpose of the contract, hence it renders it invalid. End quote.
We have previously discussed this issue and the differences of scholarly opinion concerning it, in fatwa no. 94454.
The way in which you want to marry this man is not permissible, so you should forget about it altogether, seeking the pleasure of Allah; be patient in bearing this trial with which you are being tested and seek reward for your patience with Allah, may He be glorified. You should also look for a way to treat this birthmark and offer a lot of du‘aa’, asking Allah to grant you healing and well-being, and to make things easy for you. We ask Allah, may He be glorified, to grant you healing and well-being, and to grant you relief from every hardship and a way out from every difficulty.
And Allah knows best.