Mon 21 Jm2 1435 - 21 April 2014
22107

Ruling on delaying marriage without justification

I heard about ur site from a friend n found it very very usefull n full of information. so, i, thank u very much for clearing up most of my misconceptions through it.  
my question is regarding marriage .  
my parents have accepted a proposal from a family but now they r delaying in fixing up dates . although the man's family wants evrything to b done quickly but my parents r taking a lot of time. so what is the ruling on delaying of wedding when once everything has been finalized.

Praise be to Allaah.  

We thank you for your kind words about our site, and we ask Allaah to bless us and you with beneficial knowledge and righteous deeds.  

If the situation is as you say, with your father having agreed and with the woman’s family being prepared, then everything is in place and there is no reason to delay this marriage. 

Rather you should hasten to proceed with it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.” (Agreed upon, from the hadeeth of Ibn Mas’ood, may Allaah be pleased with him. Al-Bukhaari, 4778; Muslim, 1400). 

But your father may have some reasons for delaying the marriage, which he may not want to tell you.  So you should be patient and seek reward for that. You should also tell them of the virtue of hastening this good thing, because it will help you to lower your gaze and guard your chastity, even if that is done by doing the marriage contract and delaying consummation of the marriage, that is better than leaving it as an engagement. 

You should note that the fiancé (khaatib) is still a non-mahram to his fiancée (makhtoobah), and it is not permissible for him to do any more than look at her as much as the fiancé is permitted to look. But if he does the marriage contract with her, she becomes his wife and it is permissible for him to so everything with her that married people do, but it is better for him not to have intercourse with her until the marriage is announced, so as to ward off mischief, and in acknowledgement of the prevalent custom.  

And Allaah knows best.

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