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26333: Her sister mistreated her – should she forsake her?


I am a 19-year-old girl. I have lost my father and my mother, and have become very withdrawn and introverted. Everyone tells me that I have changed a lot. I always sit in my room and not with my sisters. I have a sister at home who is one year older than me, but I do not talk to her for many reasons, which only shyness prevents me from mentioning… She has hurt me a great deal with her words, and I cannot stand it, so I have cut off my relationship with her even though we live in the same house. This has gone on for months. We do not eat together or meet at any other time, each of us lives alone … 
My question is: is my not speaking to her a kind of cutting off the ties of kinship, and is there any sin on me for that? Note that I felt at peace after that, and that was all I wanted?
 We have a kaafir female servant, and if I ask her for something she throws it at me in a very rude manner. She only does this with me. If I tell her off and rebuke her, is there any sin on me for that? 
What is Witr prayer – how many rak’ahs is it and how and when is it to be done? 
How many rak’ahs are there in Taraaweeh prayer? Is it permissible to hold the Mus-haf whilst praying, or a notebook containing du’aa’s?

Praise be to Allaah, and blessings and peace be upon the Messenger of Allaah. 

We ask Allaah to compensate you with the best of that with which He compensates His slaves who are patient, and to expand your heart, and to make things easier for you, and to improve your relationship with your family, for He is All-Hearing, Ever-Near. 

With regard to your forsaking your sister, if that is because she is doing something that goes against sharee’ah, and your forsaking her will achieve some purpose for you, by keeping you safe from her evil and harm, or it will achieve some purpose for her, by influencing her and making her give up her sin, then there is nothing wrong with it. 

But if it is for some personal reasons, or for some difference of opinion over some worldly matters, such as some family problems, then it is not permissible to forsake her or cut off ties with her. If you greet her with salaams, then you are no longer regarded as having forsaken her. That does not necessarily mean that you have to spend a lot of time with her or talk to her a lot, especially if such contact will not serve any purpose for you or for her. 

We advise you to try to get to know some good and righteous women by attending gatherings of good women, such as classes to memorize Qur’aan and the like, so that they can be a good help to you in doing good, and a means of warding off this introversion of which you complain, and so that you may benefit from their knowledge and activities. 

We also advise you to try to benefit from your free time by listening to useful tapes and reading useful books which will increase you in faith and knowledge. 

With regard to the servant who is falling short in her work and mistreating you, there is nothing wrong with you rebuking her and disciplining her in a manner appropriate to her misbehaviour and in a manner that will improve her, without transgressing the limits or harming her. 

With regard to the rulings on Witr and Taraaweeh prayers, you will find the answers to your questions in the Seasonal Topics section of this website, under the heading “Night Prayer during Ramadaan.” 

If you want more information, please see look under the category: Fiqh (jurisprudence and Islamic rulings) > Ibaadaat (acts of worship) > Salaah (prayer) – Salaat al-Naafilah (Supererogatory prayer) > Qiyaam al-Layl (prayers at night), in the subcategories tree. 

Under Question no. 1255 you will find an answer concerning carrying the Mus-haf during night prayers. 

With regard to carrying a book of du’aa’s whilst praying Taraaweeh, there is nothing wrong with that, but it is better to try to memorize some of the du’aa’s and recite them during your prayer. This is more conducive to thinking of the meaning of the du’aa’ and not moving too much whilst praying. 

We ask Allaah to help you to do that which is good and to keep you away from evil and its people… Ameen. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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