Thu 17 Jm2 1435 - 17 April 2014
2644

She became Muslim and was cut off by her non-Muslim mother

My mother-who is non moslem- has cut off ties with me for 13 years If I write she doesn't respond and she disconnected her telephone. Although I know her present adress I fear that if I go there she 'll change her residence as she had done before
She has a history of mental illness &has been hospitalized severals times When she is at home she prefers to be "left alone"
Whenever someone speaks well of me -to try to reconcile us - she accuses them of taking sides with me, gets angry and criticizes the person.
Since she has voiced objection to Islam on different occasions' I feel that it is really my reversion to islam which disturbs her
Please advice me ! may Allah reward you

Praise be to Allaah.

The sincere believer knows that one of the things that Allaah does is to test His slaves by means of various kinds of trials in order to demonstrate their patience and virtue, and to raise their status, to increase their reward for their steadfastness, and to test their sincerity in following the truth. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And surely, We shall try you till We test those who strive hard (for the Cause of Allaah) and the patient ones, and We shall test your facts (i.e., the one who is a liar, and the one who is truthful).” [Muhammad 47:31]. Among the different types of test are the various means which the mushrikeen may employ to try to make a believer give up his faith, so they may apply psychological pressure to annoy him and make him go back to kufr. Allaah, may He be glorified, has mentioned this in His Book and has pointed out how we should respond. He tells us (interpretation of the meaning): “You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties and in your personal selves, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you from those who received the Scripture before you (Jews and Christians) and from those who ascribe partners to Allaah, but if you persevere patiently, and become al-muttaqoon (pious), then verily, that will be a determining factor in all affairs, and that is from the great matters, [which you must hold on to with all your efforts]” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:186].

If what is being said or done by others is causing too much psychological pain, then how much worse must it be when it is done by the closest of people, one with whom you share ties of flesh and blood, the mother who gave birth to you?

“The hurt caused by those who are related to you is more bitter and painful/ to the soul than the blow of a sword.” [poetry]

But when the believer is exposed to the most painful attacks from the closest of people to him, he does not give in or retreat; he follows the Qur’aan in his dealings with the mother who is hurting him or cutting him off and turning away from him. This is illustrated in the following story:

Mus’ab ibn Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas reported from his father… the mother of Sa’d swore that she would not speak to him, or eat or drink, until he renounced his religion (Islam) and became a kaafir. She said, “You claim that Allaah tells you to honour and respect your parents. I am your mother and I am telling you to do this.” She stayed like that for three days, until she fell unconscious from exhaustion. One of her sons, whose name was ‘Umaarah, got up and gave her water to drink, and she began to pray against Sa’d. Then Allaah revealed the following aayah of the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning): “And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents… But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me other of which you have no knowledge, the obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly…” [Luqmaan 31:14, 15]. (Reported by Muslim, 4432).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also suffered rejection at the hands of some of those who were most closely related to him, such as his paternal uncle Abu Lahab, but this did not stop him from spreading the message and conveying the religion, despite the harshness of the opposition. Rabee’ah ibn ‘Abbaad al-Dayli, who later became Muslim, said: “I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with my own eyes in the marketplace of Dhoo’l-Majaaz, saying, ‘O people, say Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah and you will prosper.’ He was going through the alleyways of the market, and the people were gathering around him. I did not see anyone saying anything, and he did not stop saying, ‘O people, say Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah and you will prosper.’ Behind him there was a man with a squint and a handsome face, and his hair in two braids, saying, ‘He is a Sabian and a liar.’ I asked, ‘Who is this?’ They said, ‘Muhammad ibn ‘Abd-Allaah, who is saying that he is a Prophet.’ I asked, ‘Who is this who is denouncing him?’ They said, ‘His paternal uncle Abu Lahab.’” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 15448).

So, my sister, you should hold fast to your religion and honour and respect your mother as Allaah commands. If she turns away from you and rejects your kind treatment, there will be no sin on you, even if this hurts you, because you are following the true guidance. Bear this with patient perseverance, for you are on the right path of truth. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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