26784: Her husband sits with non-mahrams and she objects to that


My husband & his family members act as is they are all mahrum.[eg;with his brothers wife,uncle's wife etc] when i tell him that this is not permissable he says that he can not do anything about it.
 He also enjoys watching movies[in which there sometimes are bad things].My telling him over & over not to do these things are making him very angry.He has asked me not to pester him.
He has so many other little bad habits. but he is kind & good.
I am a very emotional person & I feel very very sad, jelouse & angry. I am very young and unable to handle these situations sometimes.please tell me what to do.

Praise be to Allaah.  

We begin by thanking Allaah for this gheerah (protective jealousy); may Allaah help you to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil. We advise you to continue with what you are doing of advising your husband and his relatives in the best manner, until you find among these people someone whom Allaah will guide at your hands to give up these haraam actions. In this way it will become easier for those who think that they are weak and unable to change, to mend their ways and adhere to the commands of sharee’ah. You have to seek help in your efforts to advise them by praying to Allaah for these people, being kind to them and not acting superior to them, but rather showing kindness and compassion towards them, because that is more likely to be accepted and this is something that may earn their respect despite your young age.

 In addition to that, you must also strive to avoid joining them in the wrong things that they are doing, lest you yourself weaken with regard to these evil actions, especially the bad movies that you mentioned. The believer cannot assume that he is safe from temptation, rather he must help himself to fight it by keeping away from bad things and by making du’aa’.

 With regard to what you said about feeling sad, jealous and angry for the sake of one’s religion, this is a blessing from Allaah to His slave – but these feelings must be controlled according to the guidelines of sharee’ah. Sadness should not lead to despair and so on. Allaah said to His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):

 “So destroy not yourself (O Muhammad) in sorrow for them”

[Faatir 35:8]

 Anger should not put off those whom you are calling, for the purpose is to reform him, not simply to express one's frustration and anger.

 So long as your husband is a Muslim who prays and is kind (as you mention), then be patient with him and continue to call him (da’wah); perhaps Allaah will bless you by guiding him and causing him to follow the ways of chastity.

 Perhaps if you think about the calamities that have befallen other wives who have suffered because of husbands who are worse than yours, that will make you put your husband’s sins into perspective. We ask Allaah to guide him and you, and to guide us and all of mankind to that which He loves and is pleased with. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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