3215: Her parents do not want her to be alone with her husband until after the waleemah (wedding party)


Salam,
I just recently had my Nikkah this past June. But the actual Rukhsati (giving away of the bride) will not take place until March because my husband is studying in a different state.
When he comes and visits my parents get very upset if I spend too much time with him. They say it is inappropriate. They are constantly watching what we do. They get upset if I go out with him and come home late. My question is, What does Islam have to say about parent's interfering in their child's marriage? I respect my parents but yet they do not seem to repect my privacy? Am I being unreasonable? Any information that you can give on this matter will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Praise be to Allaah.

If a man has completed the marriage contract (‘aqd nikaah) with a woman according to Islamic law, everything is permissible for him, he may look at her, be alone with her, enjoy physical contact with her, and so on, but his wife is not obliged to obey him and he is not obliged to spend on her until she submits herself to him, which according to the customs of most people nowadays happens after the waleemah or wedding party. Some mothers and fathers do not like their daughter to be alone with her husband between the ‘aqd (nikaah) and waleemah because they are afraid of some problem arising that may cause the break up of the marriage, and their daughter may then no longer be a virgin, or she may become pregnant, and if the waleemah is delayed her pregnancy will be obvious to people, or other situations which may cause embarrassment to the parents. Parents may have concerns of which their children may not be aware, and which a daughter may not see as important because she is so excited and happy about her new husband. Although it is permissible for the couple to enjoy physical contact after the nikaah is completed – even before the waleemah – they should respect their parents’ wishes and pay attention to their concerns. The husband should also understand their concerns and should remain content with family visits until things settle down, i.e., after the waleemah. We ask Allaah to hasten for you the good things that you want. And Allaah is the Source of help.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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