34161: She committed a haraam action with a man thinking that she was helping him and being kind


I am a girl of good character, praise be to Allaah. But one of my faults is that I love people more than is necessary and I cannot bear to see anyone suffering without sharing his pain. At work there is a young man who is sick with a sexually-transmitted disease. I got close to him and he got close to me so that I could reduce his pain and be kind to him, and I tried to help him but without getting involved sexually with him. I know that this is haraam, but is this zina? How should I deal with this young man who is with me at work all day long? 
Please note that I have asked Allaah to forgive me for what I have done and I now fast every Monday and Thursday, and I pray and hope that Allaah will forgive me. I am now confused and I do not know whether Allaah will forgive me or what.

Praise be to Allaah.  

Undoubtedly you have committed a grievous sin, in fact a number of sins, starting with your speaking to this man about these sexual matters, and ending with what you did to treat him. The Shaytaan has gradually led you astray and made you fall into evil; he has deceived you and made it look to you as if you are helping others and being kind to them. 

No matter how soft-hearted a person may be, no matter how sensitive towards others, there are limits that must not be crossed. 

We understand from your question that you work in a place where you mix with men. This is where evil begins. Perhaps this is an example of the evil consequences of women mixing with men at work. See also question no. 1200 and 6666

You should note that it is not permissible for women to speak with men except for necessary purposes, when it should be done in a decorous and dignified manner, without speaking in a soft tone, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”

[al-Ahzaab 33:32] 

If speaking in a soft manner is forbidden, then what about a woman speaking to a man about sex and sexual diseases?! 

You must strive to leave this mixed work place and cut off all ties with this man whose lack of religious commitment is worse than any physical problems he may be suffering. 

With regard to the question of whether what you have done is zina or not, the answer is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, according to the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari (5744) and Muslim (4801) from Abu Hurayrah: “Allaah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina, which will inevitably catch up with him. The zina of the eyes is looking and the zina of the tongue is speaking. The nafs (self) wishes and desires, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.” 

Al-Nawawi said: 

The meaning of this hadeeth is that the son of Adam has his share of zina decreed for him. Some of them commit zina in real terms, by engaging in illicit sexual intercourse. Some of them commit zina in a figurative sense by looking at haraam things or listening to stories or songs of zina and anything that may lead to it, or by touching or kissing a non-mahram woman, or by speaking in a haraam fashion with a non-mahram woman, and so on. These are all kinds of figurative zina, and the private part confirms that or denies it meaning that zina with the private parts may take place or may not. And Allaah knows best. 

But by Allaah’s mercy towards His slaves He opens to them the door of repentance and seeking forgiveness, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”
[Ta-Ha 20:82] 

“And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance”

[al-Furqaan 25:71] 

You said that you have repented to Allaah, so do a lot of righteous deeds, so that Allaah may forgive you. Part of repentance means cutting all ties with this man and asking to be transferred away from the place where he works, indeed to be transferred away from a mixed workplace altogether, as stated above. 

And Allaah knows best.

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