Thu 24 Jm2 1435 - 24 April 2014
3807

Pre-marital relationships are not permissible

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I am in a relationship with a guy who can not make up his mind to get married. I have not yet became a muslim and I will soon We have talked about this being wrong for us to be together and if he was back in XXX, that he would not be able. I feel like wrong is wrong, and even if I hav not yet converted, that should not be the problem. His family wants him to come home, but when does a man have the right to make a choice? Maybe, because I am from the US I don't understand the whole thing about family. When you have a wife or someone to be your wife, is she not your family too?
Please help me to do what is right.
Salaam,

Praise be to Allaah.

It is true what you have said, that wrong is wrong. In Islam, pre-marriage relationships are not permissible. We believe that adultery is not permissible not only in Islam, but also in all religions of Allah (God). I believe that the gentleman of nationality XXX whom you are seeing is not serious in getting married, because if he were, he would have married you from the very beginning. In Islam, a man must respect the will of his parents, and in some cases he must obey them. You, in your present status, are not a member of his family. When you become his wife, then you are considered to be his family. Yet even then, if a father orders his son to divorce his wife because, for example, she has bad reputation or she is not a good Muslim, he must obey his father. My advice to you is to think seriously in embracing Islam, not for the sake of this man, but for the salvation of your soul and body from Hellfire. I believe by now, you have a good idea what Islam is, putting aside the bad example this gentleman has been setting. Therefor, you should stop seeing this man and you should become Muslim. If his love to you is genuine, he will propose to you. If he doesn’t, then be sure that Allah will not leave you alone, and as He guided you to his religion, He will send you a good Muslim who will cherish you and give you a decent life as a wife not as a mistress. I pray to Allah that He may enlighten your heart with Islam and guide you to make the right choice.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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