5384: He wants to marry a girl but she wants to go to university and they live in a corrupt society


I am a 19 year old muslim brother. I want to marry a girl.
I've asked her and she's agreed. The problem is that once were married she wants to go to university. But I go to uni myself and its an extremely un-islaamic environment where boys and girls mix freely, people walk around half naked, people drinking alcohol, swearing, and where there
is very little morality. She wants to go to uni because she doesen't want to let her mother down because her mother has told her cousins that her dauhgter will get a degree but if she doesn't go to uni her cousins will say to her mother that I stopped her from getting a degree. What should she do. Should she go to uni where its a corrupt envornment just to keep her mother happy or not go to uni?
Also after I get my degree and a couple of years working experience I want to leave this corrupt country and go to an islaamic country. I had afghanistan at the topp of my list. Is this a good idea? If not where else can I go?
Thank you for any help you can give me

Praise be to Allaah.

If the situation in the university is as you describe, then it is not permissible for her to study in that place or to go there. One of the well-known basic principles of sharee’ah is that there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator. She should not obey her mother in this instance. She should try to convince her mother that it is haraam, by explaining to her gently and politely, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“But if they [parents] strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly…” [Luqmaan 31:15].

If the mother does not accept this, it is still not permissible for the daughter to obey her and there will be no sin on her for that, in sha Allaah.

But there is another important point we must make here:

It is not permissible for you to talk to this girl or to sit with her before marriage. The Prophet said: “Beware of entering upon women” and “No man is alone with a woman, but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” So beware of doing that.

As for your travelling to settle in a Muslim country: look for a land where you can openly practise the rituals of Islam and where you will feel safe to practise your religion and not feel in any danger, where the environment will help you to worship your Lord properly and where there is less fitnah (temptation). Allaah is the source of help and He is the Guide, there is no god besides Him.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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