Praise be to Allaah.
Turning up the volume of music for one’s parents with a remote control
That is not permissible because it involves cooperating in sin, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… but do not help one another in sin and transgression.” [al-Maa’idah 5:2]
If you withhold the remote control and they get angry, they have no right to do so, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 1041; it is a saheeh hadeeth).
The remote control you mention is merely a tool, the person who is doing the action is you, and the responsibility rests with you. You have to call your parents to give up evil things, inviting them with wisdom and beautiful preaching, addressing them kindly and lowering to them the wing of humility. If Allaah told Moosa and Haaroon to address the kaafir tyrant Pharaoh with kindness, as He said (interpretation of the meaning), “And speak to him mildly, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear (Allâh).” [Ta-Ha 20:44] – then your parents are more deserving of being addressed mildly and gently. May Allaah guide us all to the path of those who fear Him.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid