Praise be to Allaah.
Praise be to Allaah for your coming to Islam. Allaah has blessed you by making you Muslim. And praise be to Allaah for the fact that you feel Allaah is with you, for this is what brings peace to the heart and makes deeds righteous.
Please understand that Allaah sends trials upon people so as to distinguish between them, so that it will be known who will bear it with patience and the hope of reward from Allaah, and who will be filled with despair and will resent the decree of Allaah. So those who are patient will be rewarded with Paradise and those who despair will be punished with torment, grief and pain in this world, before the Hereafter.
The plane crash which you mentioned is of this nature. The people on board were either committed Muslims, so this disaster is an expiation for their sins and will raise their status, as it is a kind of martyrdom (shahaadah) for which they will be rewarded, and their families will be rewarded if they bear their loss with patience; or they were kuffaar and evildoers who did not obey their Lord, so the accident was a punishment from Allaah and vengeance from Him.
A Muslim must not feel sad for the death of non-Muslims because every human being is destined to die. But dying before we Muslims were able to guide them to Islam is our source of grief and sadness because who ever is not Muslim is doomed in hell.
There is nothing mysterious about this as you claim. It is the decree of Allaah which happens at every instant; we must bear it with patience and not let grief overwhelm us. The crash of this airplane is a sign from Allaah to mankind, to remind them of the greatness of the power of Allaah.
Allaah says concerning ships (interpretation of the meaning):
“And among His Signs are the ships in the sea like mountains.
If He wills, He causes the wind to cease, then they would become motionless on the back (of the sea). Verily, in this are signs for everyone patient and grateful.
Or He may destroy them (by shipwreck) because of that which their (people) have earned. And He pardons much.
And those who dispute (polytheists, with Our Messenger Muhammad) as regards Our Ayaat (proofs, signs, verses of Islamic Monotheism) may know that there is no place of refuge for them (from Allaah’s punishment)
So whatever you have been given is but (a passing) enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with Allaah (Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who believe (in the Oneness of Allaah Islamic Monotheism) and put their trust in their Lord (concerning all of their affairs).”
Plane crashes and other disasters serve to remind people that no matter how much progress they make in earthly terms and how much strength they gain, Allaah is stronger and more powerful than they. What they do and the developments they have made will not save them from the punishment and decree of Allaah if it comes to them. Let people go back and look at themselves, and realize how incapable and weak they really are, and how strong, mighty and powerful Allaah is.
Please realize that Allaah is close and that He responds to the call of the one who is in need. Allaah does not distance Himself from man unless man distances himself from Allaah and becomes arrogant.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright” [al-Baqarah 2:186]
So no one should feel that Allaah is far away from him, unless he has done something to affect the relationship between him and Allaah. If he puts matters right between him and Allaah, then he will not feel that grief and distance.
The feelings of grief and loneliness that have overwhelmed you are from the accursed Shaytaan who wants to cause grief to those who believe; he does not want to see them active in doing actions of obedience to Allaah that will bring joy to their hearts.
Imaam Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if an evil whisper from Shaytaan (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad) (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allaah. Verily, He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower” [Fussilat 41:36]
“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don’t punish them). And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytaan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allaah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower” [al-A’raaf 7:199-200]
“Repel evil with that which is better. We are Best‑Acquainted with the things they utter.
And say: ‘My Lord! I seek refuge with You from the whisperings (suggestions) of the Shayaateen (devils).
And I seek refuge with You, My Lord! lest they should come near me.’”
“Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly) then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.
But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient — and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of happiness in the Hereafter, i.e., Paradise and of a high moral character) in this world.
And if an evil whisper from Shaytaan (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad) (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allaah. Verily, He is the All‑Hearer, the All‑Knower.”
There is no fourth aayah with a meaning like that of these three, which is that Allaah commands us to be kind to human enemies and treat them kindly so that their inherent good nature will prevail and they will become our friends. But He commands us to seek refuge with Him from satanic enemies; there is no point in being kind to them or treating them nicely, for they want only to destroy the sons of Adam because of the intensity of the enmity between them and their father Adam beforehand. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Children of Adam! Let not Shaytaan (Satan) deceive you, as he got your parents [Adam and Hawwaa’ (Eve)] out of Paradise” [al-A’raaf 7:27]
“Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy. He only invites his Hizb (followers) that they may become the dwellers of the blazing Fire” [Faatir 35:6]
“Will you then take him (Iblees) and his offspring as protectors and helpers rather than Me while they are enemies to you? What an evil is the exchange for the Zaalimoon (polytheists, and wrongdoers, etc).” [al-Kahf 18:50]
Iblees swore to our father Adam that he was one of the sincere, but he lied, so how about his dealings with us? Especially since he said:
“By Your Might, then I will surely, mislead them all, Except Your chosen slaves amongst them (i.e. faithful, obedient, true believers of Islamic Monotheism)” [Saad 38:82-83 – interpretation of the meaning]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“So when you want to recite the Qur’aan, seek refuge with Allaah from Shaytaan (Satan), the outcast (the cursed one). Verily, he has no power over those who believe and put their trust only in their Lord (Allaah). His power is only over those who obey and follow him (Satan), and those who join partners with Him (Allaah, i.e. those who are Mushrikoon, i.e., polytheists.” [al-Nahl 16:98-100]
(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/14)
So turn to Allaah, remember Him and strive to worship Him, so that your soul will become pure and love for Him will become firmly entrenched in your heart, and you will be relieved of your worry and grief. Remember the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy.” (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, 3704; it is a saheeh hadeeth). May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid