8037: A husband who humiliates his wife


I have been married for 25 years and I have a number of sons and daughters. I am faced with a lot of problems from my husband, because he humiliates me a lot in front of my children and in front of relatives and strangers. He does not respect me at all, for no reason. I can only relax when he is outside the home. Please note that this man prays and fears Allaah. I hope that you can tell me the right thing to do. May Allaah reward you with good.

Praise be to Allaah. 

You have to be patient and advise him in the way that is best. Remind him of Allaah and the Last Day: perhaps he will respond and come back to the right path, and stop this bad behaviour. If he does not respond, then the sin will be on him and you will have a great reward for your patience and for putting up with his offensive behaviour. It is prescribed for you to make du’aa’ for him in your prayers (salaah) and at other times, that Allaah will guide him to the straight path and bless him with a good attitude, and that He will protect you from his evil and the evil of others.

 You also have to check yourself, and follow your religion properly. Repent to Allaah from any bad deeds and sins that you may have committed with regard to Allaah’s rights, your husband’s rights and the rights of anyone else. Perhaps he has been sent against you because of some sin that you have committed, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much” [al-Shooraa 42:30]

 There is no reason why you should not ask his father or mother or older siblings or other respected relatives or neighbours to advise him and direct him to treat his family well, in obedience to the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

May Allaah put things right between you and guide your husband and bring him back to the right path of goodness and guidance, for He is the Most Generous, Most Kind.

Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 8, p. 395
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