I am the biggest sinner in this world. Promiscuity is in my blood. I do not know how many times I committed the sin of masturbation and oral sex. Even in this very blessed month of Ramadan. I am in the verge of loosing all hopes for forgiveness. I have heard that he who does not get forgiveness in this month of Ramadan(i.e. get the Jannah) should be destroyed.(According to an authentic hadeeth). Since I have committed this sin in this Ramadan too now I am completely devastated in my hopes. Could you please tell me what to do to repent sincerely? If Allah the Exalted so wills I really would like to be forgiven for my cursed deeds. Is there any way to get at least some of the signs that I have been forgiven? How can stay away from this sins? I repent so many times but again I go back to the sin. That means I am not repenting sincerely. I wanted to get married but my parents(from indian subcontinent) does not allow me yet. I can not blame them because according to islamic law I can not hurt them or can not talk over them. So I have to oblige them. But here in the US I can not control myself. I know these gravest sins and I have committed them countless times. By the will of the Exalted I do a very good job. Is this another sign that the Exalted has cursed me by increasing my wealth so that I can delve into the sins more? Now I would like to repent. I would like to repent. I would like to repent. I would like to repent and go back to my Rabb(Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala) and never want to go back to those sins again. "Fasalu ahliz zikre in kuntum la t'alamoon." -- May Allah reward you and protect you for the sake of Islaam.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah does not forbid people to do a thing which they cannot give up, and He does not enjoin them to do a thing which they cannot do. Hence it is the Shaytaan who is making you think that you cannot repent, and what is there that is stopping you from repenting?
But you have to follow the means which will help you to keep away from this sin. One of the most important things in this regard is marriage. If you cannot marry, then follow the advice given by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), which is to fast. Try to fast some of the days when it is mustahabb (recommended) to fast, such as Mondays and Thursdays, or three days of every month. Keep away from things which will provoke your desire, such as looking at haraam things or at scenes which will provoke your desire or thinking about your desires. Keep your thoughts busy with things that will be of benefit to you, and look for a righteous companion (wife) to help you to adhere to the path of obedience.
As for your good job, it has nothing to do with this. It may be the case that Allaah enables a righteous man to find a good job which He denies to a sinful man. Provision is in the Hand of Allaah, may He be blessed and exalted, and He may test some of His slaves with ample provision or with straitened circumstances.
The sign that your repentance has been accepted is that you give up that sin and never go back to it. Since you missed out on repentance during Ramadaan, strive hard to achieve it at other times. We ask Allaah to accept the repentance of us all. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.