Thu 24 Jm2 1435 - 24 April 2014
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Ill effects of women taking part in chat rooms

ar
Praise be to Allaah, I am a religiously-committed young woman and I go on the Internet a great deal to post lessons and discussions. Recently I became a moderator in a chat room for Islamic teachings. Frankly I am very impressed by the character of the webmaster of this site, because he is religiously committed and educated, and he honours his parents. Is it permissible for me to give charity on his behalf and pray for him even though I know very little about him? 
Another question is: It is permissible for a young woman to love a person because he is Muslim, religiously committed and educated? Is this regarded as love for the sake of Allaah? 
Is it permissible for me to take his number and call him to ask after his family and him, or to talk to him about some issues having to do with the site?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Among the ill effects of women taking part in chat rooms is that they may be tempted by some men, and form a romantic attachment to them, and vice versa, especially since women are weak and easily affected by words such as “you did well” and “may Allaah reward you”. If the praise is repeated, it leads to attachment. 

Hence we should be strict about this issue and say that women should not take part in chat rooms with men, if they feel any such thing. 

It seems from your question that some of this attachment has happened to you. Hence we advise you to keep away from this chat room and cut off all ties with the webmaster via the internet or otherwise, and limit yourself to chat rooms that are for women only, as there are many of them, if you insist on taking part in such activities. Our advice to you, based on what you have told us, is that you should protect yourself against the temptations with which the internet and chat rooms are filled, and close the door to this temptation which is opening slowly through these chat rooms.  

The shaytaan deceives people and opens the way that leads them to sin. He mixes things that are acceptable with things that are not acceptable, and  mixes truth with falsehood. He comes to each person through something that is suited to him. So a woman who likes music will be attracted to singers; as for the woman who loves Islam and is religiously committed, there are men who love that too. There is a trick for everything. 

Beware of any contact with this young man to whom your heart has started to feel an attachment. Do not ask for his number or try to get in touch with him for in a case such as this, that is the door to temptation. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.  

As for praying for him, there is no harm in that. But as for giving charity, do that on your own behalf, because you are more entitled to all hasanahs and your record is more in need of them: 

“That Day shall a man flee from his brother,

35. And from his mother and his father,

36. And from his wife and his children.

37. Every man that Day will have enough to make him careless of others”

[‘Abasa 80:34-37] 

Beware of feeling safe from the tricks of the accursed one, or of trusting your own strength to rid yourself of something to which you have opened the door deliberately. How many have there been before you who thought it was just a game, but it soon ended. It is no more than steps that lead to a path from which it is impossible to turn back. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al‑Fahsha’ [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al‑Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allaah purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allaah is All‑Hearer, All‑Knower”

[al-Noor 24:21] 

Learn from those who came before you, and may Allaah protect us and you from becoming a lesson for others. 

A wise man said: I do not know of any truth that resembles falsehood or any falsehood that resembles truth more than love. Jokes concerning it are serious, serious talk concerning it is a joke. It starts as a game and ends in ruin. 

We ask Allaah to protect you and take care of you, and to help us and you avoid temptation, both obvious and hidden. 

And Allaah knows best.

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