Praise be to Allaah.
Your state is like that described by the poet:
“If death were for sale I would buy it.
This life is something in which there is nothing good.”
This is wrong. It is not permissible for the believer to wish for death. If he has to say something, then let him recite the du’aa’ that has been reported for such cases.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Let not any one of you wish for death because of some harm that has befallen him. If he must wish for something then let him say, ‘O Allaah, keep me alive so long as life is good for me, and let me die when death is good for me.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari (al-Fath), 11/154)