I am a very distressed father;, I caught my two young children (7 yr old boy and 5 yr old girl) exposing to each other their genitals. In my shock I severely beat them, but I don't know if what I did was correct. My two children have withdrawn from me and only speak to their mother, but rarely also. We are both worried. What is the best way to resolve this situation ? We need your help and advice!
Praise be to Allaah.
The most important thing is for a father to deal wisely and in a balanced manner with his children’s mistakes. He should beware of letting his eagerness to deal with and correct the mistake cause him to make an even greater mistake.
Children at this age may not understand the implications of such actions. What usually leads them to do such things is seeing certain things on TV. So we must try hard to know the source of this behaviour and where the children have learned it from, and we should try to protect them and keep them away from the sources of such things.
The feelings that your children have will most likely disappear after a while, especially if you treat them gently and deal with them in a kind and loving manner.
Shaykh Muhammad al-Duwaysh
Do not forget to pay attention to the hadeeth (narration) of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “… And separate them in their beds” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, and classed as saheeh/sound by al-Albaani. See Saheeh Sunan Abi Dawood, 1/97)
Try to explain to them how ugly this action is, and tell them that this is something the Shaytaan likes, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Children of Adam! Let not Shaytaan (Satan) deceive you, as he got your parents [Adam and Hawwa’ (Eve)] out of Paradise, stripping them of their raiments, to show them their private parts
It was narrated that Bahz ibn Hakeem said, my father told me, from my grandfather, who said: “I said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, what about our ‘awrah (private parts)?’ He said, ‘Conceal your ‘awrah from everyone except your wife and female slaves whom your right hand possesses.’ He said, ‘ What about a man with another man?’ He said, ‘If you can manage not to let anyone see it, then do so.’ I said, ‘What if a man is on his own?’ He said, ‘Allaah is more deserving that you should be modest before Him.’” (Narrated by Abu Dawood. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani. See Saheeh Sunan Abi Dawood, no. 3391).
And tell them that this abhorrent action is something which is done by evildoers and immoral people who are hated by their Lord. May Allaah make your children righteous. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.