21149: Wife’s family making the husband have doubts about his wife


One of my friends came to me to ask my opinion about a problem that he is facing. He says that there was a big argument between him and his wife’s family, so his wife’s family started making him have doubts about his wife and telling him that she had been betraying him from the first day of marriage until now (approximately fifteen years). All of this was done by hints, not stated bluntly, but these were obvious hints that were made repeatedly. They got other people to help them in that so that he would divorce her, and now he is suffering from waswaas (whispers from the Shyatan). It should be noted that they have children and that the wife prays regularly, always on time. This has led to strong rumours circulating among people and the husband is living in isolation; no one visits him, not even his brothers, because of these rumours. When he confronted his wife she denied it vehemently and did not speak to him for several days, even though when the disputes between him and her family grow intense, she behaves in a manner that causes him to have doubts about her and there are times when the husband believes these rumours and times when he thinks that they are untrue. He often thinks of divorce because she has caused him problems in his social life and at work and with his brothers. It should be noted that the husband has never seen or heard his wife speak to any stranger (non-mahram man). What is your opinion? May Allaah help you to do that which is good for this ummah.

Praise be to Allaah.  

It is obvious that there has been a misunderstanding between this man and his wife’s family, and that they want him to divorce her. It is essential to find out the wife’s point of view. If she wants a divorce then he has to try to change her mind by tackling the cause of the problem. Otherwise he may divorce her, and perhaps Allaah will compensate each of them with someone who is better than the other. He should however, avoid discussing the issue of her betraying him. But if his wife does not want a divorce then he should treat his wife well and seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan, and he should not pay any attention to the doubts for which he has no proof. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that there is gheerah (protective jealousy) that Allaah loves and there is gheerah which Allaah hates. The gheerah that Allaah loves is gheerah which is cause for doubt, and the gheerah that Allaah hates is gheerah when there is no cause for suspicion.

Shaykh Sa’d al-Humayd
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