21598: Her husband’s mother dislikes her – what should she do?
I have done my nikah a few months ago and will do the marriage ceremony soon insha'allah in order to live together. My husband's family is not religious at all. Unfortunately, I found out, after the fact, that my in-laws are not happy about our marriage and because of that my relationship with my in-laws, especially my mother-in-law, is not in good terms. My husband is their only son and he loves them very much. I am afraid that my mother-in-law's dislike towards me might affect my relationship with my husband in the future. What can I do to prevent this? Is there any dua'a?.
There is no problem that cannot by solved by anyone, as stated in the question. For every problem there is a solution, but the problem is not in finding the solution, rather it depends on the one who is going to implement the solution. Many of those who go through difficult circumstances and ask for a solution imagine that the person they are asking is able to take away the problem, but this is not correct. Rather all that a human being can do is to suggest the best possible ways of reaching the desired result, but the person must still make the effort to solve his problem – this is very important and essential.
With regard to what you asked about:
This dislike that they are showing may be based on incorrect ideas about you, so perhaps it is only temporary and may disappear if you try hard to be pleasant to them. I say this because we cannot be sure of what may happen in the future. How often has a girl have been disliked by her husband’s family in the beginning, then as they got to know her and saw her good manners and good attitude, they changed their minds about her and their condemnation turned to praise and their hatred to love. So do not worry about what may happen, just be cheerful and optimistic about your future with your husband.
You must show your best attitude towards your husband’s family, who have the right to be treated in a good manner by you because they are the family of your husband. Pay a great deal of attention to his parents, and take care of his mother as if she were your own mother. If she comes to your house, try to meet her with a friendly and smiling face, and do not pay too much attention to your husband whilst she is there with you, because this may stir up feelings of jealousy, which are very strong in human beings.
Turn to Allaah and make du’aa’, and ask Him to help you to treat them well and to soften their hearts and make them love you. Realize that no matter how hard you look for a solution, help is ultimately in His hand. So turn to Him with all sincerity. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family.