Praise be to Allaah.
The Qur’aan and Sunnah indicate that the husband has a
confirmed right over his wife, and that she is commanded to obey him, treat
him well and put obedience to him above obedience to her parents and
brothers. Indeed, he is her paradise and her hell. For example, Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors
and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the
other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is
present except with his permission, or to allow anyone in his house without
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899.
Al-Albaani (may Allaah
have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth: Since it is obligatory
for a woman to obey her husband with regard to his satisfying his desire, it
is more appropriate that it be obligatory for her to obey him in that which
is more important than that, namely raising their children, guiding the
family, and other rights and duties.
From Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 282
Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a woman prays her five
(daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys
her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the
gates of Paradise you wish.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
al-Jaami’, no. 660.
Ibn Maajah (1853)
narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: When Mu’aadh came from Syria,
he prostrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) who said, “What is this, O Mu'aadh?” He said, I went to Syria and saw
them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do
that for you. The Messenger of Allaah (S) said, “Do not do that. If I were
to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have
commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is
the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she
fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if
she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.
Ahmad (19025) and
al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for something
and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said:
“How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except
those I am unable to fulfil.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he
is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering
Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you
fall short in that.
Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in
al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933.
If there is a conflict between obedience to one’s husband and
obedience to one’s parents, then obedience to one’s husband takes priority.
Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning a woman who has a
husband and a sick mother: Obeying her husband is more obligatory upon her
than (taking care of) her mother, unless he gives her permission. (Sharh
Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 3/47).
In al-Insaaf (8/362) it says: She does not have to
obey her parents with regard to leaving her husband or visiting etc., rather
obedience to the husband takes priority.
There is a hadeeth concerning this issue which was narrated
by al-Haakim from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: I
asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him), “Who has the most right over a woman?” He said: “Her husband.” I said,
“Who has the most right over a man?” He said, “His mother.”
But this is a weak (da’eef) hadeeth, which was classed as
such by al-Albaani in Da’eef al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1212, and he
criticized al-Mundhiri for classing it as hasan.
And Allaah knows best.