She lives in a different country from her husband; should she leave that country and go to her husband in his country?

Question 129704

I've been married for 1 year now. I am not sure as to whether I should find a job and sponsor my husband to live with me in the UK or I should just leave the UK to live with him in Pakistan. He (my husband) has not given me any specific orders that i could follow; I have a 2 bedroom flat here in London owned by the council, and I am living on money (Income Support) which the government gives. So in the Islamic view my husband does not fulfill any of my rights and I'm also not able to give him his rights; if I sponsor him it means I have to work in a mix sexes environment which I want to avoid, is it permissible for me to work in such an environment when I perfectly know that my husband is in good health and can provide me with enough to live on in Pakistan? 1) Should I move to Pakistan and let him fulfill all my rights and vice versa? 2) Should he pay for my ticket every time he wants me to visit him? 3) Is it right for me to ask him to give my share of money (i.e. that he should be spending on me according to Quran and Sunnah) as zakah or save it for when I visit him? 4) Is what I'm taking from the government haram for me beacause I have a husband in Pakistan who can provide me with money, clothes and a roof over my head? 5) What rights does my daughter have on my husband and vice versa? (my daughter's father is in the UK and happily provides for her each week).

Answer

Praise be to Allah.

Married life cannot become stable without working together and coming together in love, goodness, friendship and sincerity, and co-operating in matters that have to do with this world and the Hereafter.

It makes no sense for you to be in one country and your husband to be in another country.

He is not the one who is giving you your rights on a reasonable basis, and you are not the one who is taking care of her husband as enjoined by Allah.

So it is essential to hasten to bring the family together so that it may be filled with love and harmony.

If your husband coming to join you means that you will be the one who works in a mixed environment and your husband will be left without work, undoubtedly working in an environment where men and women mix is haram, and has negative consequences for one’s religious commitment, morals and family.

So long as your husband is able to spend on your maintenance in Pakistan, then it is better for you to live together in Pakistan.

With regard to the costs of your travelling to join him, he is the one who should pay for that. In fact, if possible he should travel to join you then take you back with him so that you will not be travelling without a mahram.

Of course it is not appropriate for the price of the ticket to form a barrier preventing you from joining your husband.

With regard to what you are taking from the government of financial assistance, reference should be made concerning that to the conditions of entitlement to that assistance.

With regard to your daughter, she has no rights over your husband with regard to spending on her maintenance; rather her maintenance is due in full from her father, according to what he can afford. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Let the one who is rich spend according to his means, and the one on whom his provision is set according to bare needs — so he will spend (according to his means) out of what Allah has given to him. Allah does not burden a Nafs except (for) that which He has given (capacity) to her. Soon Allah will establish, after hardship, easiness.”

[at-Talaq 65:7].

And Allah knows best.

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She lives in a different country from her husband; should she leave that country and go to her husband in his country?

Question 129704

Answer