I am married, but my husband has not yet consummated the marriage with me. He treats me badly and reviles me in the harshest of terms that hurt me, and he threatens me with divorce for the slightest disagreement, but I try to make up with him and do everything that he asks. I have found out that he lies a great deal and does not pray and he smokes.
Before marriage, he pretended to me that he was good and stays away from haraam things. He reviles me all the time and does not respect me. He asks me for my salary and to pay for all the wedding preparations and costs, and he does not spend on me at all.
My family tried to talk to him but he rejected any interference in his personal life. He enjoys me as a body only to fulfil his desires and says “I love you”.
What should I do? Should I ask for a divorce? I am afraid that if I put up with this until I have children, this will not be fair for the children!.
If your husband is as you describe, he does not pray, he tells lies and threatens you with divorce, then there is nothing good for you in staying with him for two reasons:
1. The fact that he does not pray is a very serious matter. With regard to the one who does not pray because he is lazy, there is a difference of opinion among the scholars as to whether he is a kaafir, but the more correct opinion is that he is a kaafir, because of saheeh evidence to that effect. Please see the answer to question number 5208.
Marriage of a kaafir to a Muslim woman is not valid.
According to the view that he is not a kaafir, he is still an evil doer and sinner who should be executed according to the opinions of Maalik and al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on them), and he should be imprisoned according to the view of Abu Haneefah (may Allaah have mercy on him). He does not have the right to live freely when he does not pray, according to the opinion of all.
2. The fact that he is doing these bad things before consummation of the marriage is something that does not augur well, because in most cases the husband shows his best side during this period. If he is mistreating you now, then we do not know what he will be like after that.
Moreover, if he is asking you now for your salary when he is has no right to do so even if you were in his house, then what will he be like after marriage?!
Hence we advise you to leave him now, before consummation of the marriage and before you have a child with him.
We ask Allaah to make things easy for you and to bless you by Here's Bounty.
And Allaah knows best.