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256489: He is living alone and has no job, and he is blaming Islam


I am loosing hope in Islam, due to a long period of difficulty. For the past 12-13 years now I have been unable to find a wife, or a job. Due to the amount of time I am spending alone, Shaitan is doing his work with me. I live alone, have no life partner, no job, no money and lots of time. Besides the odd phone call now and then, it can normally go 2-3 weeks for me to have a face to face conversation with anyone. I’m losing hope in Islam. Please tell me what to do

Published Date: 2017-02-16

Praise be to Allah

If we are to offer you sincere advice, we must establish an important point from the outset, which is that – no matter how tough your life is – you must beware of putting the blame on your religion, which is the last thing that you have in this world, when you know for certain that your religion has nothing to do with your situation or your circumstances, for you could find some poor, hopeless people who are going through a much more wretched and miserable situation than you, but they follow a different religion than yours; you could also find some people who are living a life of luxury and are very happy, and they may be Muslim or otherwise.

What does religion have to do with what you mentioned about your circumstances? We do not know.

Rather we are surprised at how your reasoning could justify putting the blame on religion, and how you could conclude that the problem is with religion, when you know that whatever has befallen you is not because of your religion; rather it is because of the difficult circumstances you are in. You are not the only one going through this; rather millions of people throughout the world are also experiencing it. This is part of the trials and tests that Allah has decreed for His slaves in this universe, in their lives in this world, to see how well they will fare in these trials and tests: will they succeed or fail? Will they become confused and uncertain, and will their faith be shaken? Or will they remain steadfast through times of ease and times of hardship, with certain faith in the Lord of the Worlds?

Reflect upon the following verses, O slave of Allah:

{Blessed is He in whose hand is dominion, and He is over all things competent - [He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving -} [al-Mulk 67:1-2] {And it is He who has made you successors upon the earth and has raised some of you above others in degrees [of rank] that He may try you through what He has given you. Indeed, your Lord is swift in penalty; but indeed, He is Forgiving and Merciful.} [al-An‘am 6:165] {Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned.} [al-Anbiya 21:35].

And there are many similar verses in the Noble Quran.

Reflect also upon the words of Allah, may He be exalted, when He explains the reality of testing people with good and bad, and that neither of them necessarily indicates that Allah is angry or pleased with His slave, in the life of this world. Rather the wisdom behind all of that is so that Allah, may He be exalted, might test His slaves, to see whether they will obey Him in what He commands and forbids them to do, or they will disobey Him and turn away?

{And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me."

But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me."

No! But you do not honor the orphan

And you do not encourage one another to feed the poor.

And you consume inheritance, devouring [it] altogether,

And you love wealth with immense love.} [al-Fajr 89:15-20].

For more information, please see the answer to question no. 179441.

If you follow the media, we hope that you will look on the Internet for video clips of people throughout the world who have been driven into exile, persecuted, suppressed and oppressed, and we hope that you will let yourself reflect upon the situation of those people, who live with fear and dread at every moment, every hour of night and day, being shelled by their enemies, with their children and loved ones dying before their very eyes, with buildings collapsing on them, and they have no power to benefit themselves or ward off any harm. Others are starving under siege, until their children die of starvation, after their bodies have wasted away and they have become skin and bones. And many others are suffering in so many different ways.

Make a brief visit to accident and emergency wards in hospitals, and cancer wards, and other wards, then praise Allah for your good health, O slave of Allah.

The types of calamities are too many to be counted, so beware of thinking that all people are better off than you. You have probably not been afflicted with their calamity, so you cannot understand the reality of the pain and sickness that they are suffering, for which they cannot find any treatment or even anything to soothe and relieve their pain. We are reminding you – and ourselves – of all of that, so that we will not be overtaken by despair and thus lose our ability to reflect and ponder, and become controlled by evil thoughts, then we blame ourselves and our religion.

We realise that no matter how many words and lines of advice we write for you, that will not be of any real benefit to you unless you yourself make the decision and truly want to change, and begin by erasing the word despair from your vocabulary, leave behind all notions of weakness, helplessness and failure, and carry on searching and looking for means of success and sources of hope. But this time, you should try to vary your approach and look for different ways; be content with little and persist in following the path to the end. Perhaps Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will open to you the treasuries of goodness in this world and the Hereafter.

Our advice to you – whilst you are striving to save yourself – is not to focus all your concern on feelings of inadequacy that you are trying to rid yourself of by means of wealth and work. Rather your concern should be to make yourself happy as you are, with peace of mind, and be content with little, and live with tranquillity and calm, whether you live in a palace or you live in a slum; it makes no difference. What matters is that you fill your heart with contentment and connection to Allah, and for the sake of Allah you think little of all the pain and misery of this world, taking appropriate measures to help you achieve that, knowing for certain that they are but means, and you take those measures carefully and with sincerity, but without being unduly attached to them or relying on them, for reliance should be only on Allah, may He be glorified, and not on anything other than Him.

You should realise that we receive questions similar to yours from some rich people, whose wealth and property is almost uncountable, but at the same time they are lacking the most important means of attaining happiness, and they do not find in their hearts that which we have spoken of above, namely contentment, love of Allah, and hope for the Hereafter.

The one who is seeking eternity in the gardens of Paradise will not be harmed by the sorrows of this world, and the one whose heart is filled with concern about the Hereafter, will think little of all the pain and suffering of this world. The one who is preoccupied with love of Allah will find no room in his heart for love of anyone or anything other than Him. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

{But seek, through that which Allah has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as Allah has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, Allah does not like corrupters.} [al-Qasas 28:77].

And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “He has succeeded who becomes Muslim and is given sufficient provision, and Allah makes him content with what He has given him.” Narrated by Muslim (1054).

And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever among you wakes up feeling safe and healthy, and has sufficient provision for the day, it is as if he has gained the whole world.” Narrated by al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad (no. 300); and al-Tirmidhi in as-Sunan (2346) – he said: It is hasan ghareeb. It was classed as hasan (good) by al-Albani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah (no. 2318).

We will end our advice by encouraging you to connect with good and righteous people among those who frequent the mosques and those who call people to Allah. These people can help you to adhere to the truth and follow the path of goodness, and to focus on that which will benefit you in both religious and worldly terms, so that you can fill your life with acts of obedience and worship and beneficial actions, in the hope that one day you will be able to influence people and help them to overcome their circumstances and improve their situation.

Perhaps Allah will grant you a way out and relief, and He may bless you with that which will make you happy.

Who knows?

And Allah knows best.

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