Praise be to Allaah.
The scholars differ as to whether touching one’s wife directly breaks a man’s wudoo’. The most correct opinion is that it does not break his wudoo’, regardless of whether he touched her with desire or not, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Alaah be upon him) kissed some of his wives and did not do wudoo’ after that, and because it would impose a lot of hardship if wudoo’ was required in this case. If it broke a person’s wudoo’, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have said so.
With regard to the words of Allaah in the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning): “… or you have been in contact with women…” [al-Nisa’ 4:43; al-Maa’idah 5:6], this refers to sexual intercourse according to the sounder scholarly opinion.