Praise be to Allaah.
In this case you do not have to call yourself after your mother so long as this will cause embarrassment and pain. It is sufficient for you to add any other names you may choose to your name, so long as you do not keep the name of the man who fathered you out of wedlock. So for example you could call yourself Ibraaheem ibn Abd-Allaah ibn Abd al-Rahmaan, or Yoosuf ibn Abd-Allaah ibn Hammaam, and so on. May Allaah bless us and you with strength and goodness.