Wednesday 22 Jumada al-ula 1445 - 6 December 2023

Her father is asking her for money to build a house for his second wife


Publication : 26-07-1999

Views : 8656


Could you please tell me if a father is allowed to talk guilt into his children, because they are not supporting him financially. When I was still living home I used to work and give my father money. But now that I am married I have other responsibilities and also my husband is against the idea of supporting my father. We always argue about this.
My father has his own (good) salary ,but he wants to do a lot of things that require a lot of money, like building a house etc. (for his second wife).
(He got married for the second time to have a son, and this has hurt us and my mother very much). It felt like he was not satisfied with us (4 daughters).
He is always talking like we are no good to him, saying that other people's children are doing better than we do. This is making me very sad. I want to have a good realtionship with him, but I always feel very uncomfortable when he starts talking like that.
Am I obliged to support my father, despite the fact that he is building this house for his second wife and children? Are we responsible for all his borrowing from other people to realize this?
Am I allowed to go against my husband and support my father anyway?
Jazaak allah!


Praise be to Allah.

You should give your father whatever will please him, provided that this does not affect your own interests and needs. As for your husband, he has nothing to do with your wealth that Allâh has given to you. The fact that your father wants to build a house for his second wife, who is your mothers co-wife, does not mean that you are not obliged to honour him, for the child and whatever he owns belong to the father. Yes, if there is a conflict between obedience to your mother and obedience to your father, then you must take a balanced approach, whilst giving precedence to your mother, because she takes priority when it comes to good companionship, and her rights are greater than those of the father. And Allâh is the source of strength.

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Source: Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid