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I proposed marriage to a religiously-committed girl, but there is a serious problem, which is that her father works as a manager in a riba-based bank. What is the ruling on going ahead with this marriage? How should the relationship be between me and her, on the one hand, and with her family on the other hand, if I do go ahead with the marriage? Please note that we get along very well and things are fine between us. I prayed istikhaarah and asked Allah to guide me regarding this matter, and I found that things have been going very smoothly.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
There is no reason why you should not marry a suitable woman who is religiously committed, even if her father works as a manager in a riba-based bank or even if her father was a disbeliever, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married Umm Habeebah (may Allah be pleased with her) when her father was one of the leaders of the disbelievers. In fact, we think that this marriage will serve many interests, including:
1.. It may be a cause of her father being guided and giving up work in the riba-based bank.
2.. Marrying this girl will save her from the possibility of marriage to someone who is not religiously committed.
Whatever the case, the advice from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) is to marry a woman who is religiously committed. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their family status, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (4802) and Muslim (1466).
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) explained that the righteous wife is the best of the temporary joys of this world. It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “This world is no more than temporary joys, and there is no joy of this world that is better than a righteous wife.” Narrated by Muslim (1467).
Secondly:
With regard to the nature of the relationship between you and the family of this girl, if the marriage goes ahead, there is no particular advice we can give you. If your question is about what the father spends to prepare the girl for marriage, or gifts, or food and drink that are paid for from the salary of that girl’s father, you should note that the salary of a bank employee is haraam because of the manner in which it is acquired, and it is not haraam in and of itself. Therefore whatever comes to you from him of gifts, or whatever you eat in his house, is halaal for you and haraam for him; you may enjoy it, and the sin of it is on him. We have discussed in detail the two types of haraam wealth, that which is haraam in and of itself and that which is haraam because of the manner in which it is acquired, in the answer to question no. 114798 . There we explained that the salary of a bank employee comes under the heading of that which is haraam because of the manner in which it is acquired. Please refer to that question for more details.
We advise you to seek to soften her father’s heart with kind words and deeds, whilst pointing out the ruling of Allah, may He be exalted, concerning his job and that it is haraam for him to remain in it. Perhaps Allah, may He be exalted, will guide him and open his heart to the truth.
In the answer to question no. 26771 , we explained that all kinds of jobs in banks are haraam, even if the employee is a driver or security guard, so how about if he is a manager?
And Allah knows best.