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I have children, both males. One of them is thirteen years old, and he is the oldest; his younger brother is nine years old. We moved to one of the Gulf countries and I registered my son in a school. As you are probably aware, the level of immorality that is widespread in schools, especially with regard to homosexuality, is high. It was Allah’s will that my older son would be in a class where there are two boys who have this evil habit and commit homosexual acts in the bathroom, then they come out and tell the other students how amazing and wonderful this act is. It seems that my son was influenced by them, as he began forcing his brother to take of his clothes in front of him, then he would touch him and force him to grab his penis. I discovered this about four days ago, and I took the following steps. 1. I subjected both of them to an intensive investigation, after putting them into different rooms, and by comparing what each of them said, I became 80% certain that the matter did not go beyond touching, and no penetration took place. 2. I separated them, so the younger one now sleeps with me in the main room and does not communicate or eat with his older brother. 3. I told the school about the students, and they are now investigating the matter. I will also, by Allah’s leave, move my son to a different class until the end of the school year, then take him out of that school. 4. I tried hard to raise my children well, so they pray and read Qur’an, and they are very well behaved, and people testify to that. 5. I have registered my older son in an intensive Qur’an memorization course, and I will force him to fast every Monday and Thursday. I hope that you can advise me what I should do. Should I take them to a doctor to check whether penetration occurred or not? Should I take them to a psychologist?
Praise be to Allah.
I ask Allah to protect your children for you, and to make them a comfort to you, and to help us and you in raising our children.
May Allah reward you for the great effort you have put into looking after their well-being and bringing them back to the path of righteousness. I appreciate this concern that you have and the steps that you took to deal with the problem, and I offer you the following advice:
Firstly:
Undoubtedly making mistakes is human nature and no one is infallible. Nowadays there is a lot of temptation and shamelessness has become prevalent; problems have become very serious that were not widespread before. Praise be to Allah, this problem did not reach a serious level, hence you must warn your son about this misconduct and deal with the problem wisely.
Secondly:
There is no need to take them to a psychologist or other kind of doctor, because you can deal with this problem with your good approach and by being close to them, hanging out with them and checking on their needs. You should eliminate from your house everything that could cause sexual provocation, such as TV, movies and so on. The best thing you did was to transfer your older son from the class where he was influenced, and it was a good idea on your part to enroll him in the intensive Qur’an memorization program. It would be a good idea to encourage him to do a sport that he likes, in which he can use up his energy. Thus you will have a variety of ways to fill the boy’s time so that he will not get bored.
Thirdly:
I hope that their separation from one another will be temporary, then they can go back to sharing a room, after you become certain that the older son has felt remorse for his sin. In addition to that, you can explain the serious harm that this problem may cause to a person’s faith and health.
Finally
Du`a’ (supplication) is the weapon of the believer, so beseech your Lord and pray for them, for He is All-Hearing, Ever Near.
And Allah knows best.