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I am a young man and I do not want to get married. What should I do?
1. The basic principle that marriage is prescribed applies to all people but it may be more important in the case of some people than others.
2. If you fear that you may commit prohibited things if you do not get married, you are obliged to get married.
3. Marriage is recommended for the one who feels desire but there is no risk of his engaging in prohibited actions.
4. We advise those who do not want to get married to be resolved and put their trust in Allah, and Allah will help them, and will provide them with a righteous wife who will help them to obey their Lord and He will bless them with righteous offspring who will be a stored treasure for them with Allah in the Hereafter.
Praise be to Allah.
You should note that people are not equal in the matter of marriage. They share the fundamental principle that marriage is prescribed, which is from the guidance and practice of the Prophet, peace be upon him. Then, its importance varies in some cases more than others.
Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to marriage , people are of three types:
Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) said: If I only had ten days to live and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I had any desire to get married, I would get married, for fear of Fitnah (temptation).
Sa`id ibn Jubayr (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said to me: “Have you gotten married?”
I said: “No.” He (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Get married, for the best of this Ummah are the ones with the most wives.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 5069)
Ibrahim ibn Maysarah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Tawus said to me: “Either get married, or I will say to you what `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to Abu Az-Zawa’id (may Allah have mercy on him): Nothing is keeping you from getting married except impotence or immorality.”
Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The apparent meaning of the words of Ahmad is that there is no difference between the one who can afford it and the one who cannot. He said: a man should get married and if he can afford to spend he should spend, and if he cannot then he should be patient.
This applies to one who is able to get married. As for the one who cannot, Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty” [An-Nur 24:33].” (Al-Mughni, 9/341-344)
At this point, we would like to ask you about the reason for this aversion to marriage.
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)? Allah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allah, I am the one who fears Allah the most among you and I am the most pious , but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 5063, and Muslim, 1401)
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three whom Allah is bound to help: the Mujahid who strives (in Jihad) for the sake of Allah, the Mukatib (a slave who has made a contract of manumission with his master) who wants to pay off his manumission, and a man who gets married, seeking to remain chaste.” (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi (1655), classed as sound by Al-Albani in Saheeh At-Tirmidhi)
Marriage has never been a barrier to achieving things, rather in most cases it is a support and a help. That is just the whisperings of the satan, which he has instilled in the minds of many young men so that it has become prevalent in our culture and society, and you hear many of those who have delayed their own marriages or the marriages of their sons and daughters saying such things, and our society has become burdened with problems resulting from large numbers of single men and women, and the delay of marriage. However, despite that we have not seen any achievement, development or progress, whereas the first generation of Muslims used to hasten to do good and they did not delay marriage, and their achievements were the greatest and most complete of achievements.
Shaykh Ibn Baz (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Majmu` Al-Fatawa (20/421):
“What is required is to hasten to get married, and no young man or young woman should delay marriage for the sake of studies, because marriage does not prevent any such thing. It is possible for a young man to get married in order to protect his religious commitment and morals, and enable him to lower his gaze . Marriage serves many purposes, especially in this day and age. Because delaying it is harmful for both young women and young men, every young man and every young woman should hasten to get married if there is a man who is compatible with the woman, and if a man can find the right woman.”
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whomever Allah has blessed with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.” (Narrated by Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak, 2/175), At-Tabarani in Al-Awsat, 1/294) and Al-Bayhaqi in Shu`ab Al-Iman, 4/382) Al-Hakim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “This is a Hadith with an authentic Isnad (chain of narrators), although they (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) did not narrate it.” Adh-Dhahabi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in At-Talkhis: it is authentic. It was classed as sound by Al-Albani in Sahih At-Targhib, 2/192)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I have not left after me any Fitnah more harmful to men than women.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari, 5096, and Muslim, 2741).
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” [Ar-Rum 30:21]
Be resolved and put your trust in Allah, and Allah will help you, and will provide you with a righteous wife who will help you to obey your Lord and He will bless you with righteous offspring who will be a stored treasure for you with Allah in the Hereafter.
And Allah knows best.