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Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
We ask Allaah to keep you steadfast in adhering to the truth and to guide your family.
The Sunnah is to stone the jamaraat on the days of al-Tashreeq after the meridian, as was done by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them). This is the view of the majority of scholars.
Since you did the stoning before the meridian but you did not know that this was wrong, we hope that there will not be any sin on you for that.
If you want to be on the safe side, if you are able to, then slaughter a sheep in Makkah and distribute its meat to the poor of the Haram. You can do that without your family knowing about it, by appointing someone to slaughter the sheep on your behalf in Makkah.
Thirdly:
The fact that you delayed entering Mina on the night of the twelfth until 1 a.m. because of the overcrowding does not require you to do anything either, because you are excused in this case.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Whoever comes down from Mina, for example, to do tawaaf al-ifaadah at the beginning of the night, then is unable to go back until after dawn because of the crowding, there is no sin on him. End quote from Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (23/240)
We ask Allaah to guide you aright.
And Allaah knows best.