I have a very urgent question pertaining to fasting in Ramadhan. I have read most of the general fatawa with respect to atonement for breaking the fast on purpose, etc. However my circumstance is unique and I need advice. This is very uncomfortable but here goes. During Ramadhan I was very sick and the doctor told me to break my fast and take medication which I did. The doctor instructed me to do so for 5 days and my wife insisted that I follow his instructions may Allah reward her. Anyhow during Ramadhan we engaged in some foreplay, which we have done before on a regular basis even during voluntary fasts that we try to do on a regular basis. It has never been a problem and I know my limits as does my wife. On the fourth day of illness I decided to fast but did not tell my wife as she would have argued that the doctor advised to finish the drugs in full. I was confident that Allah had returned my health and wanted to fast. So I did. That morning we engaged in foreplay and my wife did not stop either when I told her to. Unfortunately, she thought this was a game as we have played it before and continued. Then as I pushed her away the excitement overcame me and I ejaculated. As you can imagine I was shocked. As was my wife when I revealed I was fasting. So do I need to fast 60 days in a row? Or make up one day? Or does this fall under the Hadith of accidentally breaking ones fast as Allah is my witness that was not my intention? Please advise as soon as possible as we are going to hajj inshallah and want to remove this sin/burden from us. What should I do?.
You did well to break your fast when you were very sick, and you also did well to fast when you thought that you were able to, although it would have been better to consult the doctor. So long as you fasted that day and were not harmed by fasting, then you have to make up that day.
There is no reason why a man should not engage in foreplay with his wife when fasting, if he is confident that he will not spoil his fast or hers. But if he is not confident of that then it is not permissible for him to do it.
Al-‘Allaamah Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (2/204): Things like kissing are also forbidden, such as embracing, touching, and repeatedly looking for one who thinks that he may ejaculate, and there is no scholarly difference of opinion on this point. End quote.
If you engaged in foreplay with your wife and felt confident that it would not spoil your fast, then there is no sin on you for this foreplay even if it did spoil your fast.
But if you thought that you would ejaculate, then you sinned by engaging in this foreplay, and you have to repent to Allaah.
With regard to fasting, the fast is spoiled in either case, because you ejaculated, whether you intended to break the fast or not. Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If he was intimate with his wife, whether by touching or kissing and so on (less than intercourse), then if he ejaculates his fast is invalidated, but if he does nor ejaculate then he does not break the fast thereby. End quote from al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (6/388).
You have to fast one day to make up for this day, but you do not have to offer any expiation. Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Majmoo’ (6/377); If he spoils his fast with something other than intercourse, such as eating, drinking, masturbating or foreplay that leads to ejaculation, then there is no expiation because the text speaks only of intercourse, and these things do not come under the same heading. End quote.
And Allaah knows best.