11790: His mother favours his brother’s wife over his wife


My mother never prays, backbites and hates me because I confront here with islamic teachings.  I even took her for haj hoping Inshah  Allah she will follow the right path.   Now she is more attached to my younger brother and after his marriage she supports his wife all the way.  My wife being quietly obeys  her and does all the household chores.  My mother even used to curse me.Should I be strict with her or will this be against the teachings of Islam.

Praise be to Allaah. 

Whatever wrongs your mother does towards you, you have to bear it and be patient. Indeed, you have to take advantage of her still being alive, to take care of her, because there is a great reward in that. One of the salaf wept when one of his parents died, and said, “I used to have two doors to Paradise; now one of them has closed.” And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “May his nose be rubbed in the dust (may he be humiliated), whose parents, or one of them, reach old age during his lifetime, then he is not forgiven.” It is difficult for parents to control their emotions, and it often happens that parents are more inclined towards some of their children than others. We have to put up with that and bear it with patience. Soon enough we – if we live a long life – will be in the same position.

 Shaykh Muhammad al-Duwaysh

 If your mother persists in not praying, then you have to persist in calling her, with gentleness and kindness, and keep on praying for her to be guided by Allaah.  

The one who neglects to pray altogether is a kaafir, but parents are accorded special treatment even if they are kaafirs, because Allaah says:

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly” [Luqmaan 31:15]

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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