A woman loves her husband very much, but sometimes she feels that he does not care for her at all. When they have an arguement she feels very frustrated and wants him to show her some love and end the arguement but he continues to shout at her in an uncaring way, making her feel as if he hates her. Sometimes this leads her to hit him, even though she really wants him to take her in his arms and finish it all. Unfortunately he does not understand this and hits her back, and then when she reminds him of the hadiths about kind treatment of women he talks about 'an eye for an eye', as if she is just any person, not his wife, whom he should be patient with and care and love. Could you please comment on the situation?
Praise be to Allaah.
For a wife to hit her husband goes against the sharee’ah and is neglect of her duties towards him. Why do you want him to take the initiative? What you must do is strive to reduce the opportunities for conflict. Instead of asking him to treat you nicely, it is more appropriate for you to apologize to him and calm the atmosphere. A stable married life is the responsibility of both partners, not only one side.
Shaykh Muhammad al-Duwaysh