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My question involves a complicated issue. Here in Canada, there is a lack of morals, people, women especially, wear almost no clothing. My problem is that I cannot stop looking at these so called clothed women. I know that marriage is obligatory upon me, other than moving to a Muslim country (which I cannot do right now), what, if any, advice could you help me in dealing with this problem.
Praise be to Allah.
We have said here many times that it is not permissible for one who has no legitimate Shar’i excuse to remain in the non-Muslim lands. This land is filled with disbelief, immorality and sin, and people there deviate from the fitrah (sound innate human nature) with which Allah has created them. One of the immoral actions that are widespread in those countries is immoral and wanton display (tabarruj), whereby women hardly wear anything that covers them, as the questioner has said.
This situation leads to haram things and major sins, including mixing , touching and zina (unlawful sexual relationships), all of which stem from looking.
Shari`ah came to forbid the ways that lead to immorality, one of which is looking at non-mahram women.
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts).” [Al-Nur 24:30]
Imam Ibn Kathir said:
“This is a command from Allah to His believing slaves to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at that which is forbidden to them. So they should not look at anything except that which they are permitted to look at, and they should lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something forbidden, he should quickly avert his gaze.” (Tafsir Ibn Kathi, 3/282)
“And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts.” [Al-Ahzab 33:53]
Al-Nawawi said:
“What is meant by a “sudden glance” is when a person’s glance unintentionally falls upon a non-mahram woman. There is no sin on him for the first glance , but he must avert his gaze immediately. If he averts his gaze immediately there is no sin on him, but if he continues looking, then he will be a sinner, because of this hadith, for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded him to avert his gaze, and Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things).” [Al-Nur 24:30]
Men must lower their gaze and refrain from looking at them in all circumstances, unless that is for a valid Shar`i reason, such as giving testimony, medical treatment, wanting to propose marriage, buying a slave woman, engaging in financial transactions such as buying and selling, etc. In all these cases it is permissible to look as much as is needed, and no more. And Allah knows best.” (Sharh Muslim, 14/139)
There are means which help a person to lower his gaze, and we ask Allah to help you to do them:
“Allah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the hearts conceal.” [Ghafir 40:19]
“And your Lord said: Invoke Me [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism) and ask Me for anything] I will respond to your (invocation).” [Ghafir 40:60]
“And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allah.” [Al-Nahl 16:53]
“As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allah’s religion — Islamic Monotheism).” [Al-‘Ankabut 29:69]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever seeks to be chaste, Allah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks to be independent of means, Allah will make him independent of means, and whoever strives to be patient, Allah will make him patient…” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1400)
“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error.” [Al-Ahzab 33:36]
“That Day it will declare its information (about all that happened over it of good or evil).” [Al-Zalzalah 99:4]
“But verily, over you (are appointed angels in charge of mankind) to watch you, Kiraman (Honourable) Katibin —writing down (your deeds), They know all that you do.” [Al-Infitar 82:10-12]
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things).” [Al-Nur 24:30]
“Verily, As-Salah (the prayer) prevents from Al-Fahsha (i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse) and Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed).” [Al-‘Ankabut 29:45]
“Companions of Equal Age.” [Al-Naba 78:33]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “… If a woman of the people of Paradise were to look out over the people of this earth, it would light up everything in between and fill it with fragrance, and the veil of her head is better than this world and everything in it.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 2643)
Adapted from an essay entitled Ghadd al-Basar (Lowering the Gaze) by a student of Shari`ah.
And Allah knows best.