Praise be to Allah.
Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji‘oon (Verily to Allah we belong and unto Him is our return).
This is a very serious matter which shocks us to the core. How can the shepherd who is entrusted with the care of his flock turn into a ravenous wolf? How can a person -- no matter what his knowledge and education -- sink so low he thinks he has the right to do anything with his daughters, even as far as intercourse, and justify that as obedience to parents. Glory be to You (O Allah), this is a great lie.
Undoubtedly the one who regards that as permissible is a kaafir according to the consensus of all Muslims. The fact that this is haraam is well known to any Muslim, and doing it is a perversion which no one would dare to do openly except a heretic.
You did right to tell your mother and to take all measures to prevent him from doing these perverted and deviant acts with you. You have to treat him kindly and obey him in that which is right and proper, not in something that is a sin.
You do not have to marry your paternal cousin; you have the right to accept him or reject him. It is not permissible to force a woman to marry someone she does not want, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The previously-married woman has more right concerning herself than her guardian does, and the virgin should be asked for permission, and her permission is her silence.” Narrated by Muslim, 1421.
And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married until she has been consulted, and a virgin should not be married until her permission has been sought.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what is her permission? He said: “If she remains silent. Narrated by Muslim, 1491.
If the righteous man whom you like proposes marriage but your father rejects him because he is not one of your family, then he is preventing you from marrying, and guardianship of you passes from him to the next closest male relative, who is the grandfather if he is present, then your brother. He may give you a marriage without the consent of the father. But you have to pay attention to negative consequences that may result from that.
See the answer to question number 7193.
We advise you to do a lot of acts of worship, turn to Allah and ask Him to protect you and your sisters.
We ask Allah to help and guide you.
And Allah knows best.
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