Sunday 15 Muḥarram 1446 - 21 July 2024

A Christian woman whose father died and her co-religionists ignore her; she is thinking about entering Islam


Publication : 08-08-2010

Views : 21859


Hi, forgive me if I do not greet accordingly or speak in manner unacceptable. I truly mean no disrespect. I write because I have been considering in accepting Allah as my only God. However, I find myself confused and this is why I seek your advice. Up until almost a year ago I attended a Baptist church and became a Christian. When I made this decision I changed my life for the better. I stop drinking, I married the father of my daughter and changed the type of music a listened to and what clothing I wore. I also changed my way of thinking and began to pray to God all the times. It seemed as if I had finally found the path God had intended for me. Three years after that, my Dad became gravely ill with cancer. During my time of sorrow my church family was nowhere to be found and I was left alone to suffer in sorrow and alone. I prayed besides my Dad death bed begging God to give me strength and comfort. I truly believe if it wasn't for my praying I would of went crazy just sitting there watching a listening to my Dad scream and cry with pain while slowly dying. When my Dad died in December I was very sad but also happy because I had prayed to God to end his suffering even if it meant taking him from us. During this time I did not receive any comfort from the church family nor a gesture of sympathy (card, flowers etc). All I got was a text message from one of them that they were praying for me. Till this day I still have not gotten a call or a visit from any of them. Because my heart was hurt and I was angry with their actions or lack off I stop going to church. I ran into one of them at a store a few weeks ago and they pretended to not see me although they looked at me straight in my face. My daughter who is 7 yrs old was with me and was hurt due to the ladies actions. During my time at the church I gave my tithes, attended ALL church functions and was always there for a fellow Christian. My husband and I made it a point to teach our daughter the teachings of the New King James Bible and what God expects from us. I can't help but feel angry at them and think that Baptists are hypocrites and all around fake. Nowhere in the Bible it read’s that you turn your back on your brothers/sisters. I did nothing to shame myself, family or God. So, why did they treat me that way? Now I rarely pray and I constantly think about what faith is true to Gods words and teachings. My relationship with my husband is just there. We have been together for 20 years and just married 3 yrs and I don’t see myself in his eyes nor does he pay attention to me no matter how much I try to attract him. He almost never wants to have intercourse with me and is always on the computer till 3 am every night. I try so hard to do everything for him and go beyond what he needs just to keep him happy but it never works. We barely talk and I just feel that we are together for our daughter’s sake and nothing more. Lately, satan has been working on me because now I look and think of other men other than my husband especially a Muslim man that works at my job and has shown (respectful) kindness to me. I fear to going back to the life I had before I became Christian and I fear the wrath of God. I have been reading on Islam culture, religious beliefs etc. and wondered if this is God’s true path for me. Please believe me when I say that wanting to accept Allah has NOTHING to do with this Muslim man but everything to do with fear of getting lost in the worldly things again. Can I be accepted into the Islam faith although I’m Hispanic (from Puerto Rico & Venezuela), have had a child out of marriage 7 yrs ago and am I Baptist Christian? And is it true that a woman like me is seen as damaged goods to a Muslim man therefore even if my husband and I were to divorce there could never be any relationship between me and a Muslim man? I ask for your guidance and hope that you can forgive me if I have offended you in any way.
Best regards.


Praise be to Allah.


Perhaps we can be certain that Allah wants something good for you. Were it not for what those friends did to you, you would not have been put off by them and written to us to ask for advice. By virtue of your good conduct and sound reasoning you have been able to think again about the beliefs that you hold, and this is the first step in the right direction towards attaining the good pleasure and reward of Allah. 

When Allah wills something good for His slave, He decrees things for him that will lead him towards right guidance and encourage him to seek it until Allah brings him forth from darkness into light. 


It is appropriate for you to think now about the religion that you are following and whether it is the religion with which Allah wants for His creation? Is the happiness that you said you were living with really true happiness? Is your view of Islam correct? The time has now come for you to use your reason and ask yourself: How could Christ (“God”!) be in the womb of a created woman? Is the mother of this “God” (!) -- the Virgin Mary -- a creator or a created being? Who was crucified on the cross in the light of this belief that the divine was not separated from the human; was the divine crucified with him or did it leave him at the time of the crucifixion? Was the Lord God unable to find a way to forgive the sins of mankind except this repugnant way in which His only son was killed? 

Does God want to show mercy to mankind and for that reason He punished His son?! 

The time has come to think about the idolatrous ideas that Paul introduced to this religion, as he introduced the idea that Christ was created from the divine, after the Christians had been unanimously agreed that he was a created being, a slave or servant of God. Who is Christ according to the Christians? Is he the Lord or the son of the Lord or the third of three? The time has come to think about the belief in Trinity which is contrary to sound human nature and common sense. 

The time has come to think about the contradictions in the attitude towards the cross; instead of burning every cross and treating it in a disrespectful manner because it was on something like this that the Lord or the son of the Lord was crucified -- God forbid -- as the Christians claim, we see them venerating it and regarding it as holy and worshipping it. The time has come to think about the embarrassing differences between the Gospels, from which there is no way out except to admit that they have been tampered with and the wording and meaning has been distorted. 

Read with us the story of a former preacher who is now a Muslim, Yusuf Estes; if this how he was when he was a preacher in the churches, then how about the ordinary masses of Christians? Yusuf Estes says, telling the story of how he came to Islam: 

There were things in the Bible that I did not believe, because I could see many contradictions in it. One of these things that I asked myself and others about was: how can God be one and three at the same time? I asked world-famous preachers about that and they gave a very foolish answer that no rational person could believe. I said to them: How can I be a preacher of Christianity and teach people that God is one person and three persons at the same time, when I am not convinced of that? How can I convince others of it? 

Some of them said to me: Do not discuss this idea or explain it. Tell the people that this is a mystery that we have to believe in. Some of them said to me: You can explain it as being like an apple that contains a skin on the outside and flesh on the inside and the seed inside. I said to them: This cannot be given as an example of God. An apple contains more than one seed, so that would mean that there are a number of gods; and there may be worms in it, so there would be a number of gods. It may be rotten and I do not want a rotten god. 

Some of them said: It is like an egg which contains the shell, the yolk and the white. I said: This cannot be the likeness of God, because the egg may contain more than one yolk, so that would mean there are a number of gods; or it may be rotten, and I do not want to worship a rotten god. 

Some of them said: It is like a man and a woman and their son. I said to them: The woman may get pregnant again and that would mean there are a number of gods. They may get divorced, so this divinity would be split. One of them may die. And I do not want a god who is like that. 

Since the time I became a Christian and a preacher of Christianity I could not convince myself about the issue of the Trinity and I did not find anyone who could convince a rational person of it. End quote. 

He and his wife and his father became Muslim, by the grace of Allah, and he has not seen any contradiction in Islam or any shirk (polytheism or association of others with Allah). He has never seen any different version of the Qur’aan among the Muslims at all. This is the reason why he and his family became Muslim, and thus Allah saved him from disbelief and punishment and admitted them to the paradise of this world, and we hope that they will all enter the Paradise of the Hereafter. 

These issues that we have mentioned to you -- and many others -- have been reasons why thousands of followers of Christianity have begun to think, and Allah has guided many rational people who were enabled to ponder, and they found that what they were following was not the religion that claimed the oneness of the Creator and directed worship to Him alone with no partner or associate, and declared him to be above having any wife, son or partner. They found that Islam is the true religion which proclaims the oneness of God and venerates Him alone as He should be venerated. 

From your letter we learned of the grief that you felt when your father died, and the grief that followed it because of the attitude of your former friends. But that is in the past and today is a new day, so turn these sorrows -- which are justifiable -- into joy and happiness which you can bring into your life by thinking about what we have said to you. We are certain that your situation is going to be like that of millions who came before you, who lives have been changed just by their uttering the twin declaration of faith (al-shahaadatayn). Straightaway you will feel true happiness and it will become clear to you that you never tasted happiness at all before this moment. 

At that time we will be very happy for you and your new, true faith. 


Who told you that there is no place for you in Islam? Who said that the fact that you are American will affect your position and standing among the Muslims? Rather if you enter Islam, you will be held in high esteem by the Muslims and you will be a sister to millions of Muslim women throughout the world. You will be welcomed and respected by every Muslim, because by becoming Muslim you will become a sister in faith to all Muslims. This does not mean that you are going to mix with angelic people, for we are all human and we all make mistakes and have faults. But whatever good there is in others, we have it many times over, and whatever evils we have, others have it many times over. The enemies of Allah have succeeded in distorting the image of Islam and Muslims, yet despite that Islam still has things that distinguish it from all other religions and the Muslims have something that distinguishes them from all other people. 


The fact that you have a daughter from a Christian husband does not mean that you cannot be accepted as a Muslim woman. Rather by entering Islam you will be saving yourself and your daughter. The marriage contract that existed between you and your husband will be acknowledged by Islam and its results (i.e., your daughter) will be accepted. Many people have entered Islam and Islam did not require them to change their marriage contracts or say that their children will no longer part of the family, if their marriage contracts were done before they were Muslim. 


It is not correct to say that you will spoil the religious commitment of a Muslim man if you get married. Islam allows a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman in the first place, and it is better for her because she may enter Islam because of that. If she becomes a Muslim, that is better for the husband because he will now have someone to help him in his religious commitment. 


A Muslim cannot marry a Christian woman when she is still married to her husband, even if that husband is a Christian or a Jew, until they have become divorced and her ‘iddah [waiting period following divorce] has ended. 

But if the wife becomes Muslim and her husband is not a Muslim, then she has to keep away from him and not let him be intimate with her, and she should wait until the end of her ‘iddah, which is three menstrual cycles. If her husband becomes Muslim during this period, then she is still his wife as she was before. But if he persists in following something other than Islam, then the relationship between them is over and she may now marry whoever she wants. If she has a Muslim wali (guardian), he may perform her marriage, otherwise the Muslim judge (qaadi), or someone who takes his place, may perform her marriage. 


Finally, we ask Allah to guide you to Islam and to show you the truth as truth and enable you to follow it, and to show you falsehood as false and enable you to avoid it. 

We are looking forward to receiving a message from you telling us that you have become Muslim and that Allah has brought joy to your heart by bringing you into the fold of Islam. Then we hope that by publishing your story, it will be a cause of many women coming to Islam, and that you will have a reward equal to theirs with Allah on the Day of Resurrection. 

Please also see the answer the questions nos. 101572 and 3313

And Allah knows best.

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Source: Islam Q&A