My dear brother, how often we fail to look at things with a balanced view. How often we find problems in our daily lives that stem from the extremes of either concern or negligence. The one who seeks happiness and success in this world has to have a balanced approach without letting the one outweigh the other. In this manner he can strengthen his heart with faith and find peace of mind in doing that which he is required to do. What you are complaining of does not stem from ignorance of the root of the matter, rather it stems from the fact that you are focusing more on fear and the causes of fear and you are forgetting about being optimistic and not paying any attention to it.
You know that death is an inevitable reality that will come to every living thing, and no one will be spared that, no matter how noble his status before Allaah. Allaah said to His Prophet, the noblest of all creation (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, you (O Muhammad) will die, and verily, they (too) will die”
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:185]
And the poet said:
Every son of a female, no matter how long he lives,
Will one day be carried on the bier.
The positive kind of fear of death is that which make a person check himself and watch himself, and bring himself to task for bad deeds. This fear is that which makes a man keep away from sin and persist in praying for forgiveness and repenting. As for the kind of fear that makes a person panic, expect the worst and feel helpless, and discourages him from taking any action and prevents him from doing his duties, this is a negative and blameworthy kind of fear. The one who feels this has to strive hard to rid himself of it and put a stop to it. Perhaps this is what the questioner is feeling, and he thinks that this waswasah (whisper from the Shaytaan) is a warning of danger and a sign that the end is near. But this is not the case. All it is, is a whisper from the accursed Shaytaan, to cause distress to the believer and to make his life a misery, and there is nothing real behind it. This is why, when you went to the hospital for tests, they showed that you are in good health, which should make you feel better and give you peace of mind. Perhaps we can help you by telling you how to get rid of this waswasah (whisper from the Shaytaan), in the following ways:
1 – Firmly implanting in your heart the belief that whatever Allaah wills happens, and whatever He does not will does not happen. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And you cannot will unless (it be) that Allaah wills the Lord of the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”
Death is nothing but the decree of Allaah which the son of Adam has no way of warding off or avoiding. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say (O Muhammad ): ‘I have no power over any harm or profit to myself except what Allaah may will. For every Ummah, there is a term appointed; when their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it an hour (or a moment)’”
“Wheresoever you may be, death will overtake you even if you are in fortresses built up strong and high”
As this is the case, then fear of death will not delay it or bring it forward, all you will get from your fear of death is misery and worries. Your appointed time will never come until Allaah wills it, at the time that is known to Him, and you can never bring it forward, whether you fear death or not, whether you think about how your end will be or not. This is contrary to the life of peace, stability and tranquility that Allaah wants for the believers. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”
2 – Remembering the kindness and mercy of Allaah towards His believing slaves, for He is Loving, Compassionate and Forgiving, the One Whose mercy prevails over His wrath, Who blesses the sinner with abundant forgiveness. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Why should Allaah punish you if you have thanked (Him) and have believed in Him. And Allaah is Ever All‑Appreciative (of good), All‑Knowing”
The believer is promised Paradise when he dies. There is nothing standing between him and Paradise but death. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no person who bears witness that there is no god but Allaah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger, but Allaah will forbid him to the Fire.” (Narrated by Muslim, 47).
3 – Always putting your trust in Allaah in all your affairs, and knowing that this trust (tawakkul) will ward off the whispers of the Shaytaan and put an end to them. Once you have resolved to do that, then do not look back. If you feel that these whispers are overwhelming you again, then turn to Allaah and seek refuge in Him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytaan (Satan), then seek refuge with Allaah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower”
4 – Lift your head high and look forward; start your daily life with steadfastness and certainty, and approach all your actions with energy and peace of mind. How many good things there are in this world that fill hearts with contentment and tranquility and fill the heart with hope and certain faith.
With regard to your question, what is going to happen to you and your family in the future,
Subhaan-Allaah (glory be to Allaah)!
Are you the one who created them? Are you the one who grants them provision? Are you the one who is taking care of their needs?
No, it is Allaah Who does all that, Who is more merciful towards them than you are. Have complete trust that Allaah will never cause them to be lost, may He be glorified and praised. This matter is not up to you at all. If all the people thought in this way no one would have any peace of mind. But praise be to Allaah Who has guaranteed provision for everyone. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah. And He knows its dwelling place and its deposit (in the uterus or grave). All is in a Clear Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz — the Book of Decrees with Allaah)”
So cast these thoughts away from your mind.
5 – You should make a lot of du’aa’ asking Allaah to dispel this waswaas (whispers from the Shaytaan) from you. Pray to Him with all humbleness, expressing your weakness and need of Him. And rest assured that He will certainly answer you. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright”
With regard to those who die as a result of accidents, the fact that they die in this manner does not mean that they are bad at all. Rather people who are counted among the righteous may die in this manner. Think about this hadeeth which will help you to resolve this matter. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The martyrs are five: those who are stabbed, those who die of a stomach disease, those who drown, those who are crushed by falling walls, and those who die in battle for the sake of Allaah.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 615).
Look at those who die by drowning, or by fire, or who are crushed by falling walls. Are these not frightening things? But that does not indicate that they are bad, rather the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called them martyrs (shuhada’), which is the utmost honour. The way in which a person dies does not indicate that he is bad, but Allaah in His wisdom decrees that some people should die in this manner. Perhaps that is in order to raise them in status in Paradise, or to expiate for some of their sins, or for some other reason that we do not know.
We ask Allaah to guide you to good deeds and positive thinking.