Praise be to Allah.
You can offer sincere advice to your husband, reminding him to fear Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and to beware of His punishment and penalty. The consequences of adultery is bad in this world and in the hereafter, as Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Zina (adultery, fornication) combines all the characteristics of evil, such as lack of religious commitment, loss of piety, corruption of dignity and lack of protective jealousy. You will never find any zaani (adulterer) who is pious, keeps his word, speaks truthfully, cares for a friend or has any true sense of protective jealousy concerning his womenfolk.
Betrayal, lying, treachery, lack of dignity, lack of awareness that Allah is always watching, failure to guard the sacred limits, and absence of protective jealousy from the heart are all consequences of zina.
Other consequences of zina include the following:
·Divine wrath which may lead to spread of mischief among his family. If a man were to transgress against any king in such a manner, the king’s response would be most severe.
·Darkness of the face, which will be covered with misery and gloom that are apparent to the onlookers.
·Darkness in the heart and extinguishing of its light. This is what leads to extinguishing of light on the face and darkness overshadowing it.
·Inevitable poverty. According to a report, Allah, may He be exalted, said: “I am Allah, the Destroyer of the tyrant and the Bringer of poverty to the adulterer.”
·Loss of dignity and respect, as the one who commits this deed becomes insignificant before his Lord and before other people.
·It takes away from him the best attributes, namely chastity, righteousness and good character, and it gives him the opposite, namely immorality, evildoing, adultery and betrayal.
·It takes away from him the name of the believer, as it is narrated in as-Saheehayn from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said: “The adulterer is not a believer at the time when he is committing adultery.” Thus he loses the name of a believer in general terms, even though this hadith does not suggest that he has lost faith altogether. Ja‘far ibn Muhammad was asked about this hadith, and he drew a circle on the ground and said: This is the circle of faith. Then he drew another circle around it and said: This is the circle of Islam. If a person commits adultery, he goes out of this circle (faith) but he does not go out of that circle (Islam). End quote from Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (360).
So do not despair or give up; rather be patient in putting up with what has befallen you and your husband, and seek reward with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. Look after yourself and your family in obedience to the commands of Allah, and adhere to the teachings of Islam. Pay special attention to your little daughter; give her all the love, compassion and care, and strive to give her the best Islamic upbringing, through Islamic schools that teach the Holy Qur’an and the morals and values of Islam. In this way you will do what is required of you. As for your husband, he alone will bear the burden of his sins before Allah. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “No person earns any (sin) except against himself (only), and no bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another. Then unto your Lord is your return, so He will tell you that wherein you have been differing” [al-An‘aam 6:164].
It is well-known that there is no sin on you because of your husband’s sin and illicit relationship. You are not responsible for that child at all, so do not burden yourself or worry about him.
Please see also fatwas no. 39496 and 212599 on our website.
And Allah knows best.