Praise be to Allaah.
These feelings that you mention in your question stem from good motives, in sha Allaah, and result from your feelings that you are falling short and want to purify yourself and raise your level of spiritually. But it is important not to let them lead you to despair; they should motivate you to improve yourself. Make the most of these feelings of shortcoming to push you to strive; don’t let them make you sink to a lower level or be content with the status quo and not try to change.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to seek refuge with Allaah in his du’aa’s (supplications) from feeling helpless and laziness, and he taught us to strive to do things which will benefit us in this world and in the Hereafter. He told us: “Strive to do that which will benefit you, and seek the help of Allaah, and do not feel helpless.” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 4816). Always be conscious of Allaah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Fear Allaah (by doing all that He has ordered and by abstaining from all that He has forbidden) as He should be feared. (Obey Him, be thankful to Him, and remember Him always,) and die not except in a state of Islam [as Muslims (with complete submission to Allaah)].” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:102]
Remember His promise and warning, for He has promised His righteous close friends forgiveness and a great reward:
“Allaah has promised those who believe (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic Monotheism) and do deeds of righteousness, that for them there is forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise)” [al-Maa’idah 5:9 – interpretation of the meaning]
And He has issued a warning to those who stray from the straight path and who disobey His commands:
“Allaah has promised the hypocrites — men and women — and the disbelievers, the fire of Hell” [al-Tawbah 9:68 – interpretation of the meaning].
This is so that people will always remain in a state between fear and hope, and so that they will know that the promise of Allaah is true and they will not get carried away with this life, but will prepare themselves for the Meeting with Him.
“O mankind! Verily, the Promise of Allaah is true. So let not this present life deceive you, and let not the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allaah” [Faatir 35:5 – interpretation of the meaning]
Remember Allaah much, for this will bring peace of mind and grant rest to the heart.
“Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allaah — Islamic Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allaah verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest” [al-Ra’d 13:28 – interpretation of the meaning]
You must seek forgiveness for the commandments of Allaah that you have failed to obey, for Allaah has made the gate of repentance open to every sinner. Muslim narrated in al-Saheeh that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah spreads out His hand at night to accept the repentance of those who have sinned during the day, and He spreads out His hand during the day to accept the repentance of those who sinned at night, (and this will continue) until the sun rises from the west.” (Saheeh Muslim, 4954)
It was also reported that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah says, ‘O son of Adam, so long as you call on Me and put your hope in Me, I will forgive whatever you have done, and I will not mind. O son of Adam, even if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky, then you were to seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you and I will not mind. O son of Adam, if you were to come to me with an earthful of sins, and you were to meet Me not associating anything in worship with Me, I will come to you with an earthful of forgiveness.’” (narrated by al-Tirmidhi with a hasan isnaad (sound chain). Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3463). If a Muslim strives to obey Allaah, Allaah will make for him a way out from every difficulty. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine” [al-Talaaq 65:2-3]
Always adhere to the obligatory duties and keep away from haram (impermissible) things, then turn your attention to things that are mustahabb (desirable) and strive to do more of them, little by little, so that you will not feel put off or bored.
Finally, beware of procrastination, for it will prevent you from doing good deeds. If you start to do something, then hasten to do it and do not slow down or neglect it. Hastening to do such things is a praiseworthy action:
“And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord…” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:133 – interpretation of the meaning]. If you start to do something, then stick to it, even if it is only a little, for the most beloved of deeds to Allaah are those that are continuous, even if they are little.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.