Thursday 22 Thu al-Qa‘dah 1445 - 30 May 2024

He promised to marry her, then he became religious and mended his ways, and realised that she is not suitable for him


Publication : 20-06-2009

Views : 15586


There is a man who was not committed to religion and he used to look at his female neighbour, out of negligence on his part, thinking that there was nothing wrong with it, due to the state of the society in which he lives. This continued for a while, without him speaking directly to her, but he was attracted to her and she to him. When Allaah guided him, he realised that what he had been doing was sinful and wrong, so he decided to end this relationship. He informed the girl about this without speaking to her directly, and promised to marry her after she finished her studies. With the passage of time, this person became more religious and realised that this girl would not be suitable as a wife for him according to the standards of sharee’ah, because she was brought up by a bad mother, so he decided not to marry her. But now he is confused as to what to do. Does he have the right not to marry her and break his promise to her? Is there any sin on him in that case? Otherwise what is the solution? 
Please note that there is a young man who was keen to propose to this girl, but when he found out that the person who is asking this question wanted to marry her, he gave up the idea.


Praise be to Allah.

This young man should praise Allaah for having helped him and guided him, and diverted him from the ways of haraam and evil. He is not obliged to marry this girl even if he promised her that. It is permissible for a man to cancel a proposal if he finds justification for doing so, such as if he realises that the girl is not suitable for him, so how about if the proposal has not been made? He has to look for a girl who is religiously committed, of good attitude and good upbringing, and he should end his relationship with this girl and any woman who is a stranger or non-mahram to him. 

We ask Allaah to guide him and make him steadfast. 

And Allaah knows best.

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Source: Islam Q&A