Praise be to Allah.
We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen:
“I like to give my charity to charitable organizations but my father opposes this. He prefers to give it to relatives, and wants to make me do likewise. Does the hadeeth ‘You and your wealth belong to your father’ also mean that a father can control his son’s charitable giving?”
He answered, may Allaah preserve him:
“The hadeeth does not mean this, except if the father wants to take possession of the wealth himself, in which case there is nothing wrong (with him giving it as he sees fit), provided that this is not a trick to stop his son giving charity. But we nevertheless advise the son to give the charity to relatives, because this is preferable.”
The father does not have the right to oblige his son to give his charity to certain people and to prevent him from giving to others, but it is preferable for the son to respond to his father’s wishes, so long as he is advising him to do something good, which is upholding the ties of kinship by financial means. If the amount of money is large and there are people who need it more than the relatives, then he could give some of it to his relatives and some to others who are in need, or to Islamic charitable projects. With regard to the hadeeth, “You and your wealth belong to your father,” this was reported by Ibn Maajah (may Allaah have mercy on him) in his Sunan from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah, who narrated that a man said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I have wealth and children, but my father wants to take all of my wealth for his own needs.” He said, “You and your wealth belong to your father.”(Sunan Ibn Maajah, no. 2282. It says in al-Zawaa’id: its isnaad is saheeh and its men are thiqaat according to the conditions of al-Bukhaari).
See also the comments on the hadeeth etc. in Question #4282.
And Allaah knows best.