Praise be to Allah.
It seems from what the questioner mentions that her husband does not handle money well, and he would not refrain from taking whatever he can get his hands on. Such a person should not be given anything by his wife of her own money or her parents’ money, and she should not give in to his threats. The experience that she has gone through with him is sufficient to know the extent of his seriousness, credibility and honesty and – what’s more important – the extent of his religious commitment and his paying attention to the commands of his Lord in handling money
The best solution is to treat him kindly and advise him to fear Allaah and look for acceptable means of earning a living, without looking at the wealth of others, because he is responsible for spending on her maintenance and that of her child, and he is requested to seek halaal work in order to achieve that.
Some husbands -- unfortunately -- do not understand responsibility, and do not put a limit on their greed. If the wife has money then they do not refrain from spending it and wasting it. This is a bad attitude and weakness of religious commitment. Hence he should not be helped or encouraged to do that. The woman has her own independent financial responsibility and she does not have to give her husband any of her money; she can invest her wealth in ways that will benefit her and she can give some of her wealth to her parents even if her husband has not given her permission.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:
What is the Islamic ruling -- in your view -- concerning one who beats his wife and takes her wealth by force and treats her badly?
He (may Allaah have mercy on him) replied:
This man who beats his wife, takes her money and treats her badly is sinning and disobeying Allaah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and live with them honourably”
[al-Nisa’ 4:19]
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]
It is not permissible for anyone to treat his wife in this bad manner, and then ask her to treat him nicely. This is injustice which is included in the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
“Woe to Al‑Mutaffifoon (those who give less in measure and weight).
2. Those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, demand full measure,
3. And when they have to give by measure or weight to (other) men, give less than due”
[al-Mutaffifeen 83:1-3]
Every person who demands his rights in full from other people, then does not give people their rights in full is included in these verses.
What we advise him and others to do is fear Allaah with regard to women, as enjoined by the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) in his khutbah in ‘Arafah during his Farewell Pilgrimage, in which he said: “Fear Allaah with regard to women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah, and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the word of Allaah.” (Narrated by Muslim (1218). I say to him and people like him: Life cannot be happy unless the spouses treat one another with justice and kindness, and overlook bad qualities and focus on good qualities. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “This world is no more than temporary joys, and there is no temporary joy of this world that is better than a righteous wife.” Narrated by Muslim (1469).
Fataawa ‘Ulama’ al-Balad al-Haraam, 487.
You could seek help from some sincere, religiously committed and trustworthy people, who could advise him of what he is obliged to do of treating his family with kindness, and not coveting people's wealth, and help him to find suitable work.
If he does not stop, and continues with his threats, we do not think that you should pay attention to any of his threats or give him any hope of getting any of the money you have left, because there is no guarantee with such a person that he will not waste what is left, and then go back to the same treatment again; rather the problem would be even worse if he loses your house and that of your family; then he will be toying with you and will have more control over you. Seek the help of your Lord, be patient, turn to Him, and pray a great deal for your husband to be guided and for this situation to be set straight. Remember that Allaah is more powerful than him, and greater and higher, and that all affairs are in His hand, may He be glorified.
We advise you to recite the supplication of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him):
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hammi wa’l-hazani wa’l’ajzi wa’l-kasali wa’l-jubni wa’l-bukhli wa dala’ il-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from worry, grief, incapacity, laziness, cowardice, miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overcome by men).” Narrated by Al Bukhaari (6369) and Muslim (2706).
And Allaah knows best.
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