Wed 16 Jm2 1435 - 16 April 2014
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Missing a Deceased Person

I wanted to know if it is wrong to miss someone who has died?

Praise be to Allah.

We do not think there is anything wrong with missing a person who has died, even though this implies wishing to meet him and be close to him, although one is alive and the other person is dead, and this feeling serves no real purpose. But if we say that we wish we could meet the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and the Sahabah/Companions (may Allah be pleased with them), and the Tabi’een (Successors) and the scholars, this feeling is the hope of meeting them in Paradise, The person who wishes that he could meet these great people has to strive hard so that his Lord will be pleased with him and will admit him to Paradise with them, so that his longing will be fulfilled and will come to pass. This is the good result of longing to see the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and the Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them). This is the way in which the Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them) missed the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) after he died. For example, Muslim narrated that Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “After the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) died, Abu Bakr said to ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both), ‘Let us go and visit Umm Ayman as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to visit her. When they came to her, she wept, and they said, ‘Why are you crying? What is with Allah is better for His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).’ She said, ‘I am not weeping because I do not know that what is with Allah is better for His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Rather I am weeping because the Revelation from heaven has come to an end.’ That moved them deeply and they began to weep with her.”

(Muslim, 2454)

But if this missing a deceased friend or relative makes a person feel grief and despair – and sometimes distress – and makes him object to the will and decree of Allah, then this should not be allowed and should be denounced and forbidden, because this may lead to the development of bad characteristics which Islam strives to keep its followers away from. The Muslim should be happy and content with the will and decree of Allah and His rule and law.

 And Allah knows best.

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