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Should they join their father in celebrating the Gregorian New Year so that they can get some money from him for their mother who is poor?

23-12-2016

Question 240949

I am a young Muslim man, twenty years old, and I have a younger brother who is fourteen years old. My mother is Muslim, but my father has apostatised and left us a while ago. He lives in a foreign country, and he is of foreign origin. We did not know that he had apostatised until after we visited him. Now we live with him, and our mother lives in a Muslim country. My brother and I live in a disbelieving country, but we cannot go back because we do not have any money, or a visa for me and my brother. Our passports are foreign and we need a visa to enter (our mother’s country) otherwise we will be sent back. We are students and do not have any money. Anyway, we live with our apostate father, but our problem is that in the house there are images and alcohol, and his girlfriend, and it has got to the point that I hate him very much, but I cannot say no to him. If he tells us to do something, even if it is something that is contrary to Islam, I respond, yet at the same time I hate him in my heart because of his apostasy, and because of the way he treats us, to the point that I am thinking of leaving the house. We are faced with the problem of Christmas parties. My brother and I celebrate them so that we can take money from my father and send it to my mother, because there is no one who spends on her and she has no income. Even though my father apostatised and divorced her a long time ago, he still sends her money every month, and at Christmas my brother and I celebrate with him so that we can get some money from him and send it to our mother. Is this permissible?

Answer

Praise be to Allah.

What we advise you to do when interacting with your father is to try hard to be kind to him and bring him back to the religion of Islam using a gentle approach, by treating him nicely and interacting with him kindly, being patient with his annoyance, and advising him in a gentle and kind manner, in the hope that he may pay heed, especially since you do not have any other means, and you are poor and have no choice but to live with your father, so you have no option but to deal with him gently and try to soften his heart. However at the same time you must hate what your father is following of disbelief, misguidance and sin, and you must stay away from him when he is committing sin, and not sit with him or give him the impression that you approve of it under any circumstances.

As for your joining him in his celebration of the so-called New Year, this is something objectionable and is not permissible, because it is well-known that the Muslims do not have any festivals except Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, and the weekly “Eid” that is Jumu‘ah. Any celebration of any other festival is not allowed, and can only be one of two things: innovation (bid‘ah), if it is celebrated as a means of drawing closer to Allah, such as celebrating the Prophet’s birthday (Mawlid), or imitating the disbelievers, if it is celebrating by way of custom or tradition, not as an act of worship, because introducing innovated festivals is the practice of the People of the Book whom we are commanded to differ from. So how about if this celebration itself is one of their festivals? This has been discussed previously in fatwa no. 145950.

What you have mentioned about needing to take money from your father to send to your mother, and that this is not possible except by joining him in this reprehensible celebration, does not justify your taking part in this grave evil, especially since your father is not obliged to spend on your mother’s maintenance because his relationship with her ended when he divorced her. Rather her maintenance is due from her children, so long as she is in need. Rather than taking part in this evil, it is better for you to look for a job that is compatible with your studies, and then spend on your mother from your salary, and thus become financially independent of your father.

And Allah knows best.

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